Alzheimer’s and Afraid

Alzheimer’s and afraid to leave the house or safety of a room:

Fears overcome seniors with dementiaDear Francy; My mother is terrified of leaving the living room…she no longer wants to go to the bathroom or to her bedroom. She feels safe in the living room and she clings onto the chair and I have to pull her out of the room to the bathroom. What can I do to release this fear?

First rule; do not connect with the fear yourself. In other words, do not show worry on your face over her fear..treat your mother with smiles and talk to her in a normal tone of voice. Get her to follow you on a daily tour of the house, maybe have her hold a dust wand or rag while you are touring so she feels the movement of cleaning the home. For instance; “Mother would you come and help me with the laundry for a few minutes?” This everyday routine is soothing and your voice shows no change of character…on a good day she will follow you because she is doing something “for you”. That is how our family responds to us the best…they do things “for us”. Lunch time, you ask her to come make a sandwich for you. If you set up a commode to use; place it at the far end of the living room so she has to walk over to it and be close to leaving the room and then slowly move the commode every few days closer to the bathroom. Taking it easy and slow and using your mild calming voice is the ticket.

Ideas:

  • Always remember to review the small and large problems with her doctor so he can adjust her medications to help her through her fears.
  • Therapy for dementia and Alzheimer’s is not considered helpful when they go into the moderate and above stages.
  • Calming, reassuring and cheerful demeanor is the best treatment to receive positive responses.
  • Third party care can release the tension and often kick-start the brain into a different focus. Ask a family friend to visit, get an in-home care person for a couple of hours a few times a week, etc. Change is fearful for the Senior but it also might spark different feelings that can change the atmosphere of the home.
  • Use music to change moods. Morning music is upbeat and happy, afternoon is slow and calming, evening is fun music with voice, and nite time music is slow and calming.
  • If TV is on all the time; monitor it like you would a young child. The TV voices and noises make a difference in the senior’s mood. Find stations that are of interest and then turn it off for a few hours in afternoon to encourage a rest or nap without noise.
  • Ask the doctor about sweets; I find afternoon sweets with tea help the brain to re-energize. I give George cookies with tea at 4PM every day…then make sure his dinner is on time around 6-6:30PM with meds

Dear Francy; My Aunt is not sleeping in her bed, she is sleeping on the couch and it is not a comfortable couch to sleep on. How can I get her to move to the bedroom again?

IDEAS:

  • Make sure the bedroom holds comforting things in it and not memories of things that might upset her. Pictures of spouse or relatives that have passed can be overburdening. Move the pictures from the wall and put them somewhere else in the house. Make the room comforting. Update the room in small ways and refresh bedding.
  • Take your Aunt into the room while you are there and have a talk on her bed. Allowing her to reset her mind that the room is warm and friendly. Looking through her drawers and have her help you sort them out. Get her re-involved with the room in a positive manner each time you visit. Even having her take a nap, on her bed, while you clean the house or do her chores.
  • Put in a night light in the room and in the hallway to the bathroom for ease of night vision
  • Make sure there is a phone, emergency button or a cell phone available by her bedside table
  • Change the living room furniture so the couch is not as comforting as it has been in the past. Place a TV chair in the prime space of TV viewing. Make sure the chair is comforting and has a table that is easy for her to use for her snacks and other personal behaviors.
  • Call her mid-day and make sure she is not napping all day. In order to have good rest, she needs to have exercise and movement during the day hours
  • If she is using the TV to keep her mind busy…put a small TV in her room with an under pillow speaker
  • If she is responding to time alone, get her a senior rescue anipal. Like a cat, that will fill her day with movement and love. Older animals are easy to adapt to seniors and they mind the senior’s problems like unsteady and forgetful. Cats can stay indoors, use a potty box and eat and drink from a larger bowl that does not have to be replaced during the day. Place a fluffy cat blanket on her bed so she can welcome the cat in the room with her and not feel lonely in bed.

I hope this helps with the everyday issues that all families face with their dementia senior’s care. Thank you, for your gift of care, these are hard issues to face on a daily basis. Keep talking and asking for help…your care has so much value. It is totally understanding that frustration and self doubt will consistently arise while caring for anyone with dementia. Keep strong; your love and kindness do make a difference in this person’s daily routine.  

Advertisements

Alzheimer’s Valentine Secret Surprise

Alzheimer's Valentine

George's Valentine Surprise

 

It’s a strange road you lead when you’re a full-time caregiver / spouse. The days seem to fill with things that have nothing to do with you…but are so important that you find there is little time left at the end of the day…to be you. That was how it was going after the holidays. It was time for George to start his treks to his various doctor appointments. Getting the appointments getting George ready for and to the appointments and then the regular daily chores seems to blur the months together.

I found that it was Valentine’s Day. I had planned a lunch out with my sister and her husband so George would feel the change in the daily routine. Before I got up…George had left the bedroom early and gone to the kitchen to prepare his tea and bagel. His routine for breakfast has been set for quite some time. I have been pleased that he wakes each morning to remember the routine. But as the months go by the routine has been changed from a breakfast and tea for us both…down to a toaster bagel and tea just for him. I’m fine with that, the doctor has advised he keep doing small chores and the easy breakfast keeps his mind ticking away. Sometimes he leaves the tea on a forgotten counter, or the bagel in the toaster, but it’s the thought process that counts.

So I was happy when he returned with tea in hand and warm bagel wrapped in a paper towel and said; “Happy Valentines Day, Francy.” It was a pleasant surprise that he had remembered the day without my coaching him. I wasn’t feeling well. A small allergy had blown into a sinus infection with swollen itchy eyes…so I was nursing myself and feeling totally off the beam. But the tone of George’s voice brought me back to the blessing that I still have him by my side and he still remembers my name and the extra special day.

Oh, the years that have gone before were so different. George was quite smitten with Valentine’s Day. He would always bring me a sweet piece of jewelry; some years expensive and other years modest…but a remembrance that I still cherish to this day. He would have a fancy card, flowers and usually a dinner out. Sometimes we would go to a special Valentine function or dance and he would dress to the nine’s in his tux or dinner jacket. I remember all those years; I have to remember them because he has forgotten them. So, I often remind him of one of our sweet adventures when he is in a sour mood. And I remind myself when I join him in a particularly difficult day.

I got up that morning and wrapped myself in my robe and grumbled to myself as I scuffed my way down the hall to the kitchen. Thinking of making my own tea and taking a bevy of pills and eye drops to get myself well again. As I rounded the corner and entered the room…there was a large piece of paper propped up on the counter by our fish tank. At first I couldn’t really focus on what it was because my eyes were so swollen and so I had to move closer to view it.

There in front of me was a handmade Valentine card from a man who does not have an ounce of art talent in his body. I cried of course; cried tears that really had more meaning then just the card he had made, the tears were for how even when our life has changed so much…there is still love.

George had asked me to take him out to get a card that week. But my eyes were so bad I did not want to drive. I had told myself to remember to ask Cheryl to help him do a card for me on the computer, but that had also gotten forgotten in the midst of the daily routines. So when George got up that morning he was without a card and decided to take the matter into his own hands. He went up to my office and found some art paper and came down to the kitchen and found an ad flyer on the table with gifts for Valentines on it. He carefully cut out the jewelry from the ad and glued it to the paper and made his own card. I suppose when you read this you think it was a sweet thing to do. But you would not understand the many steps all of this took…it took him a couple of hours to do the project. While I was sleeping he was busy cutting away and pasting. He had to put all the thoughts together, remember the tasks, find the objects to cut, glue, and paste and then put a theme of a card together. It was by far the most complicated task that he had done in months. There were not tears of sadness and loss…for once, there were tears of joy for his creative self that was trying so hard to come to the top of his brain.

I have said it before but I feel my mother put it in words that I shall always relate to; as she aged into her 100th year she said she was becoming so upset with her daily regression. She shared with me; “Remember how a young baby starts to learn things and every day the mother is filled with pride and joy at a new ability the child has added? First it’s the baby’s eyes begin to follow movement, then they turn over, then they hold up their head and start to sit. Then the crawling and walking and talking come and you can barely keep up with the changes. Each new step is a mother’s rejoice. Well I am doing just the opposite. Each day I seem to lose ability. Little by little I can feel my body go backwards, getting weaker and weaker.” That is how it is now with George’s brain, day by day little pieces of his brain retreat and he becomes less of who is was as a person all his life. But this time; he was able to reach down and become something more. It was a joy on a day that like all other days except for its name of St Valentine’s Day. I think somewhere mother is rejoicing in George’s day of creative power…and certainly St Valentine is giving us a wink.

There will be a Valentine’s Day that I will be without George and when that day comes I am not going to remember all the fancy presents, flowers and dances he used to take me to…nope. I am going to remember this card of love that he worked so hard to piece together step by step…so he could reveal his love for me.

How lucky am I?

Please do come and join me with more information on caring for Alzheimer’s and other senior care issues www.SeniorCareWithSpirit.com

Thank you for all you do for your own senior in care…francy

George in office
George reading while I work in office

Living Long, Easy – Living Well, Takes Work

Dear Francy; My parents are in their early nineties and still live in their family home. The house is small and easy for them to keep up with hired help for fix-ups and me for assistance. But, they are now doing less and less…their days are spent watching TV and sleeping. I know that they will face their end times but I want them to stay in their home as long as possible. What can I do to keep them safe and yet home, at such an advanced age?

Uncle Bill & Mom 100+ Yrs of Living

It’s all about quality of their days now…so keeping them moving and thinking — it’s the key

  1.  Do they move around during the day? Keeping their legs working and their balance in place is really a hot point.Make sure they move around to go to the bathroom…make them walk around the house or up and down the hall twice each time they go to the bathroom. Their commode goes over the toilet during the day to help them up and down on the toilet seat. Then at night move the commode into their bedroom for ease of use when they are trying not to fall at night. NO Should I ?….this is a must and do not let the senior make decisions that effect their balance and possible fall at nite!
  2. 

  3. Do they eat on trays by the TV all day long? That will keep them from knowing what they are eating and allow them to snack without thought. Have them eat at the kitchen or dining room table not in front of the TV on trays. This is really important to keep their food intake under control. Intake of food in advanced age is very hard. The palate does not taste food and the stomach is not hungry for food. So making food spiced well and served attractively is important. They will concentrate on their eating, chewing and swallowing safely. They will eat a full meal, not piece. They will be able to see each other and be forced to talk to each other to encourage their interaction. If there is a care giver there, ask them to sit and visit with them while they eat. To be there in case of swallowing problems.
  4. Do they remember what day it is and talk about things happening in the present? Their minds have to keep working not go on vacation. Keep a wall calendar and put all their appointments on it and add in family events. Grand children’s birthdays that need cards sent or calls to be made – holidays coming up in large print – reminders of voting days and library return days. Keep them in the present as much as you can so they do not simply stop thinking. Order books from the library, they have special “homebound” programs that will send out a few books for them to read and return in a pouch via the mail. FREE… Talk about TV programs that are coming up that have interest for them. PBS has history series that are so well done, they have Masterpiece Mystery and Theater and art programs. These are quality shows that can be easily understood and enjoyed.
  5. Are the newspapers piling up around the house and look like they are not being read? You need to keep them thinking and reading. Change the paper to just the weekends. It means less paper to throw away and still is a weekly review of local events. Add a Newsweek or Time subscription so they get the news in detail. If they have trouble listening to news each night, this will do a full in-depth report of major events so they keep up on life around them. Remember those magazines need to be dropped off at the library. Most libraries have a magazine exchange for those that can not afford them. It’s a kind way to stay gifting all through the Sr’s life.
  6. Is their surroundings looking dull and like grandma’s house? Everyone enjoys a clean and pretty home especially when they spend all their time in their home. Make a few changes…Add some new throw pillows for color, change the grand children photos and update their selection. Get the family photos on an electronic photo frame that will be changing throughout the day. Ask the family to help you do a weekend of painting and get the kitchen, and living area updated with new paint, clean windows and curtains. It will lift spirits and have to be done when they choose to leave the home and the house goes up for sale. So best done so they can enjoy it.
  7. Do they still have friends alive that they can connect with once a month? This is really hard- as you age- you lose your friend base.
    If friends are few and far between now, have them go to a local senior center at least once a month for a card day, or craft day or an exercise class. Let them met some new folks to get their minds going on interaction again. A senior DayCare is around $14 a hour and you can find them in care facilities. Keeping their social skills alive means they will interact with their care givers and family much better, too!
  8. Do they have something to take care of or do you do everything for them? Everyone needs to have chores and responsibilities.
    Add a pet to the house. Your local shelter will find an older dog or cat that are small and easier to care. This is an addition that will give them a worry. They will even complain at first…”Oh,NO we don’t want to worry about a pet” Well too bad; older pets need good homes and love..and so do they. This new pet will add a feeling of movement to the home, noise and something to worry over and do for all day long. It will give them a reason to get up and put them out to potty or feed them. It will allow them to pet and stroke the animal and get that tactual interaction that all people need to keep healthy. It could be a bird, it could be fish…but pets are important to older folks and not to be ignored as something to hard to handle.
  9. Do they keep clean? Is the home smelling clean?  Many older people simply do less cleaning of their home and their own person. So schedule a bath lady once a week so they have a good supervised bath. Then make sure that the house gets aired out and have a good air cleaner. You can find ozone air filters that will push the air through the house and clean it out for you. Keeping clean is a foundation for a happier disposition. You will find almost all people who are depressed dress poorly and have less personal hygiene. So if you see this in your seniors disposition, take note and remember that depression can hit elders hard and it can be addressed and treated by their family doctor.
  10. Are they missing out by not hearing or seeing well? Do not think that someone older does not need to hear or see well.
    The idea that older people do not need to hear or see well is nuts. If you are in your eighties and will live another 4-25 years you need to keep your ears and eyes working. So get them help. Ck ears for wax, get at least one hearing aid. Add TVEars (a great headset) that gives them personal hearing for the TV. This also allows the TV audio to be turned down so you do not hear the TV in every room. Check their eyes, get glasses and updated frames or add magnify sheets so they can see to read and to understand their medications and the TV schedule. Get them to remove their cataracts that will open the world to their eyes again. Keep them thinking that time is moving forward but they deserve to move with it, not get stuck.
  11. What if you live to 120? My mother never thought she would live to 100 years. She was shocked as the years moved forward and she kept living on after many physical challenges. So she would say; if I knew I would live this long I would have done more when I was eighty. You see no one thinks about this…they just think they will drop over any time after 80+ so they wait for it to happen. Doctors have answers to many problems that caused early death – now, even something simple like colds can be handled so they don’t turn into pneumonia. Heart attacks can be medicated and life extended. So stop the thinking that your elders will drop over any time now. Start thinking…” If I am going to live another five to ten years what do I need to do?” It does make a difference. Movement will be more important, eating will become something to be involved with and dressing and interactions with others will be fun again. Life can be very long and a quality life is a treasure. Keep thinking ahead as you care for elders. Mother would often say; “All these pills can’t I stop taking some?” I would then go over her pills and ask which one do you want to stop. The pill to help you not get a stroke?- the pills to make your stomach feel better, the pill to help you go to the bathroom eaiser…on and on. She then would say..well I suppose I better just keep taking them. She was right, medications, exercise, food, personal care, friendship, family and social interaction make life worth living. So keep it up, keep them moving and grooving, no excuses…before you know it will be five years down the road and they will still be in their home and happy!

I thank you for all you are doing..francy   Francy with Missy  Come and enjoy more info at www.SeniorCareWithSpirit.com  

  PS: 

 DONATE: I spend time-sharing with hundreds of families all over the US so they can cope with caring for their senior. I’m at home with my husband, George, on a full-time basis and I always appreciate a donation for my time-sharing with you on this site. I thank you for your kindness…and ask that you share my site information with those that you know that are caring for seniors — francy 
 
 Join my Newsletter Listing: I just got the November issue finished…I send out a newsletter and talk about the behind the scenes of daily care giving with George and clients. You’ll also hear about Missy and my crazy, busy life with joy – in the middle of chaos. It’s a more personal look at Alzheimer’s. When you click and go to my home page it will take you through the sign up with your name, city and email and I will send you a small thank you gift Free…for your time. I will hold all your information private. You will receive a monthly newsletter and can remove your name any time from my listing. And once again I would appreciate you spreading the news about my work, there are  a lot of care givers out there that could use someone to talk to and get ideas back. Thanks so much – francy

Mom’s House is a Mess- Help!

Mother, Toots, me on the left and my sis Merrilee on the right

by francy Dickinson   www.SeniorCareWithSpirit.com  

Dear Francy: My mother’s home is such a mess. I go over to care for her and it is just a nasty experience. I just do not even want to be there let alone be there often to care for her. She still is on her own, she hates anything I do for her and its her home. I mean what can I do?  

Make changes…you know the sad news about getting older is that if you need help from others the rules change. What did you do when you became an adult and you were still living in your parent’s home? You wanted to have your own things, you wanted more freedom and you wanted your own time frame. But your parents had home rules and you had to live within them so YOU moved out. That is how the world moves. But now its the opposite. Your mom wants to be in her home and yet she needs you or someone to care for her. She has to change, she can get mad and she can yell and say hurtful things all she wants. But the truth is, her home needs to change. Since you are the girl in charge…you have to make those changes.   

Ask family members or lifelong friends to ease your work by talking to her or becoming a team member and helping you with logical changes to keep your mother safe and well inside her home. Keep her own tastes and habits in mind, but work around them, so she will be safe and able to stay in her home as long as possible. Without change; she will have to go into a care facility and leave her beloved home. There is not a lot of wiggle room for her anymore…so a combined front of family, friends and you…will make the change more productive. Start small but keep pecking away till the job is done.  If your mom has problems with the changes, get her help. There are people that specialize in senior issues and doctors that will medicate so she can relax and not be so upset over change. So here are some ideas of how to begin.  

Check off the ideas you can use and DO IT:

  1. Make a list: get a notebook and walk around the house and take notes on what would have to be done to sell your mother’s home. Remember your mother will have to sell that home to go into a retirement, care facility or when she passes. So this is your way to get the project in your mind and begin the process. Go from room to room and treat them like they do on the TV…decide how to update them for a small investment and faster sale. This is your “private list” to work off of as you go along. I just think that the changes have to be made, so why not make them so your mom can enjoy the fresh paint and clean area while she is living in her home. Why wait till she moves to make changes that she could have enjoyed while she lived there?
  2. Start with the rooms that your mother uses each day. Her bedroom, her sitting room, her kitchen and her bath. Only think of the rooms that make up her day, not the full home. It will be a small start, but will make a big impact. Start in the bedroom. Take note of this as the main focus for a week or two. Start with sorting the closet. Tell your mom, that you are going to sort through her clothes with her and put the summer and winter ones in two different places so she has more room. Then start the project slowly…do it in a room where she is not involved and take out all clothes that are really unusable. The ones that need care or cleaning and put them into black plastic lawn bags and remove them to the garage or your car. Get rid of them. Then ask her to help you go through each drawer and the closet and slowly tell her the off-season goes into big plastic bins to be brought out when the time is right. Then remove the bins to storage and sort them for old clothes and get rid of those to the charity of your choice. This can be done slowly so each of your visits you do a drawer or two, or you can schedule a weekend to stay with her and just get it done. Now that you have the closet clean and the clothes in order. You do the chest of drawers. Step by step until you have pared down her wardrobe and removed things that simply will never to be used again. That done…go out and buy some new sheets and bedding, possible new pillows and drapes. Then have a family member or another person come in and paint the room. It has to be done in one day…so you need to start as soon as she rises for the day. Think of the future sale and make the room look updated with a neutral paint color and new “bed in a bag” for the bedroom. You will now have one room cleaned and ready to show for a future sale. Your mother will have clean and painted walls, fresh linen and feel good, even if she complains.
  3. Go on and do the bathroom…make that an ongoing project over a week of your visits. Go through the drawers and clean them and put fresh Rubermaid drawer liners in them. Buy a few small plastic trays that will fit in the drawers and shelves to keep her make up and personal things handy. This is so important. It will clean the area and make the ease of use for your mother so much easier. Older people forget where they put this or that. When you have cleaned down the many years of bathroom stuff and old pill bottles and tubes of unknown creams and tackled bits and pieces– you will have a room that is now easy to use and ready for the update. Once again, paint the room…change out the vanity light to give it an update look and if you can afford it match new faucets with the light fixture. Get a new shower curtain and put on a hand-held shower spray with a bath chair for your mothers’ use. Go out and buy two large bath towels, four hand towels and a package of white face-clothes (12). Put the face-clothes in a small basket easy for her to reach. Get her a new hand cream and hand soap and allow her to feel and use the two new rooms. Dont forget to place a plastic bin for dirty clothes in the bedroom or bath…clothes are not to be put on the floor for cleanliness with elder care giving.
  4. Now that you have hit the two rooms that have the least emotional problems…you are ready to go on to the living room area. She will have seen your work, felt the fun of the result with the paint and update and she will be easier to handle. I think it should take about two days to do the living room. But first look at it closely. Figure out who can help you remove the newspapers and magazines and ask them to come with boxes and be ready to remove them completely. Figure out if you need to add a new sitting chair that is easier for her to use. Get the chore and its steps in your mind and then ask a family or friend to take her out for a day or over the weekend. Clear the room in one day and then paint the room in the next day. Remember, think of how the house will be for sale. Remove all the trivial build-up that has taken place over 20-40 years. Then make what she needs even better. Choose a paint color that will go along with the rest of the house. Replace the many grand children’s pictures with a new family shot that you have blown up big and put in a nice frame. Get new lamp shades to update the lamps and have the floors or carpet cleaned. Add new throw pillows, drapes or blinds. Change out the knickknacks for a few nice collectables. Now the front room should be re-arranged so your mother can easily see the TV and the view out a window as well as get in and out of her chair and walk to the kitchen and bath with ease. The room is ready for her and is ready for the future sale.
  5. Now you go on to the kitchen. This is what you do from room to room…so in your mind, it makes the home special for your mother. In the back of your mind you have the future sale all ready to go. You will see that this will mean that your mom is in a cleaner atmosphere and she feels happy about the new paint and cushions and towels and bedding. Its like you trade her anger and possessive behavior for a feeling that she has a new surroundings that are pretty, fresh and still filled with her special things that mean a great deal to her.
  6. Just do it: This job is not easy I know. But if you do it right, it will pay off over and over again as you go down the line with your mother’s care. As she gets less able to do things, it will be easier for you to keep it clean and for her to use it without a trip or fall. She will feel refreshed and you will have a home that will easily show well for a future sale.
  7. Dont forget to keep up the outside. The street view of the house is the sales point. So ask family to help you cut down the overgrown plants and keep the lawn trimmed and watered. If the house is in need of a cleaning outside or a painting in order to sell it, is best done while your mother is able to write the check for the work. A new coat of exterior paint, even just in the front of the home or the porch area cleaned can make a huge difference in the amount brought in with a sale.
  8. Always ask a third-party to be on your side. A friend of your mother’s, another family member, a neighbor. Ask them to back up your actions for your mother and allow her to complain to them. Facing the loss of independence or the end of life…can be huge reasons for anger and the inability to make changes. By showing her you want to change small things to freshen it up for her use – it will calm her down. She does not have to hear you are doing it for the future sale. Reality is important for the care giver, but protecting the senior from unwarranted worry is the kindest way to deal with the situation.
  9. The child inside? I find that elders usually respond just like your young children used to do. No they did not want to give away any of their own toys. But when the toys were sorted and cleaned and put aside in a bin and placed in the garage. The end of the month the toys were forgotten and the joy of the new paint, bedding, towels and the place of honor to the new toys – always won out. Your mother will be the same.
  10. This simply has to be done. It is much easier when you have a Power of Attorney or Health Care Directive in place. That way you can write a letter to her doctor and ask for help with her emotional issues. This will then be considered and the doctor can add in an Rx that will keep her calm and not so worried over the little things in her life. As always, if you are doing something for your mother’s best care, you are doing it right. But if you over use her funds, or throw out valuables because you don’t like them…that is not care giving, that is acting in your own self-interest and is not acceptable. If you don’t have time to do all of this, then it is time for your mother to go into a retirement care facility where her needs can be met by professionals. The choice is on the table and it will take both of you to make the decision.

Hope you find this helpful. It is so hard to be the care-giver to parents that have had control over their lives and still see you- as a child. But this is a job that has to be done. So putting it off is simply pointless. You will spend more time on this project than you think…but once it’s done…you can relax and know that the future is handled. You and your mother can enjoy a kitchen with a working stove and a new faucet and see the TV without the clutter. It pays off…and your mother will appreciate your time, even if she does not say so. Being a care giver is a very special gift, I thank you for all you are doing.  

Francy with Missy  Come and enjoy more info at www.SeniorCareWithSpirit.com  

  PS: 

 DONATE: I spend time-sharing with hundreds of families all over the US so they can cope with caring for their senior. I’m at home with my husband, George, on a full-time basis and I always appreciate a donation for my time-sharing with you on this site. I thank you for your kindness…and ask that you share my site information with those that you know that are caring for seniors — francy 
 
 Join my Newsletter Listing: I just got the August issue finished…I send out a newsletter and talk about the behind the scenes of daily care giving with George and clients. You’ll also hear about Missy and my crazy, busy life with joy – in the middle of chaos. Its a more personal look at Alzheimer’s. When you click and go to my home page it will take you through the sign up with your name, city and email and I will send you a small thank you gift Free…for your time. I will hold all your information private. You will receive a monthly newsletter and can remove your name any time from my listing. And once again I would appreciate you spreading the news about my work, there are  alot of care givers out there that could use someone to talk to and get ideas back. Thanks so much – francy

5 Tips For Summer Senior Fun

Free Music Concert in Tacoma area park

by francy Dickinson    www.seniorcarewithspirit.com

Dear Francy; Mom has a broken hip and now is unable to walk on her own, so we do not go out. I find the wheelchair is hard to get in and out of the car. So we seem to be stuck in the house. On hot days and with a full summer ahead, not to mention a hot fall – it does not leave much to be joyful about? Oh boy, we are going to go crazy with each other. I do work during the day and my son is still living at home, in high school…so mom spends lots of time alone. Got suggestions for relief?

5 Tips for Seniors in the Summer

  1. Get a walker, not a cane: when a person has issues with possible falls use a walker around the house and a wheelchair outside the home. Sit down and have a face to face with the facts of life for you all. When there is any big problem in the house; all three of you must be in on the discussion. Then go to the medical supply and try the different wheelchairs and take them out to your car and see if you can lift them in and out. Let the people at the supply store help you find a good fit. There are a variety of chairs and with a doctor’s prescription your mother’s insurance and medicare should take care of it. If not, rent. You need that lady mobile- like it or not both of you need to make that wheelchair your friend.
  2. Look up freebies. Our local museum is giving a FREE entry with an AARP membership once a month. The two small communities around us are doing FREE concerts in the park, once a week. Our local zoo has a Senior Day each month and the local ball park has family packages for tickets with drinks and hotdogs for $20 ea. The ball park has a special section for wheelchairs with great views. There is so much that can be done for very little investment in anything but your time.
  3. FREEbies and Coupons. Nationwide chains are giving two for one coupons a lot this summer. Your different local restaurants will have them too. Go online and look up some of your favorite spots and find the deals. There is a free pie at Sharie’s, there was a Free Slurpee at 7-11 on July 11th, there is a FREE ice cream cone at Costco some time in August and these events just mean you have a simple goal. Go out get a treat, walk around, come home…simple but fun for all.
  4. Invite others in to your home. Summer is an easy time to have a BBQ for family and friends. You can have the various grand children or cousins over for watermelon or an ice cream social. You can have a plant exchange with friends or neighbors. You can have sandwiches and ice tea for church friends, or your siblings over for a smores party. you can also meet at a park with friends and family and have a potluck with games for the kids, or a joint game for family. Thinking young and entertaining young often works just right for a senior, too.
  5. Senior Centers are a great place for the senior to play cards, do crochet, take a class and best of all? Travel. Many senior centers will have special price day trips that will take the senior, in their wheel chair, to local sites on a van or bus. It’s a fun time for the senior and often a good friend, the destinations are around your state that take an hour or two to drive to and from and many times the senior has not seen the area for a good deal of time. I also like to check for openings. Mom and I went to two different new library openings and we went to a large box store opening. We got freebies and had a fun time with the celebration of the opening and mother felt good she was at the beginning of a new place. Be sure to check with your city online website and see if they have disability tours of the city and special senior events. These are often well planned and enjoyable for the senior. Don’t forget a good movie can be a cool resting place and fun treat – senior prices and online coupons will make the movie easier on your budget too. We have friends that have free outside movies once a week in their residential village…all are welcome.

If the senior is well – doing two outings a week is reasonable. One, may be for fun and the other, for doctor or shopping. Planning ahead and putting the date on a wall calendar and talking about the event is great. It builds up the importance of it like a regular holiday. My husband does not want to miss a free concert in the park. My mother did not want to miss the spring trip to the tulip and daffodil fields. These small outings bring easy enjoyment and the cost and the time involved is quite small.

 Make sure you talk about things that might be keeping the senior from wanting to be out. Bladder problems, pain, confusion any fear can be addressed and figured out if you talk them through. Its the shy quality of senior’s to talk about their personal problems that will hold you back. Once again, be a family talk openly about issues that matter to each of you. Dont let using a “Depends” be an issue to keep your mother in the house instead of at the park with friends.

I remember being in my early 20’s and taking my own Grandmother around town for things. I did not mind at all, as a matter of fact we had fun doing different things together. It seems the age difference goes away when you’re enjoying an event. Since these events were just a ride of less than an hour or two for the most part, the event can be done and still do things for the rest of the family. I know you will think of things far more fun than I have but its the planning and getting out the door – that’s the important part. Days will fade together and summer will be over if you go day to day…make all of life have meaning with small adventures of pleasure.

Dont worry about dressing fancy, having lots of money in your pocket or spending cash on souvenirs. Those things are not required for having fun in the sun around your home area. Hope you enjoy…francy

Francy with Missy  Come and enjoy more info at www.SeniorCareWithSpirit.com

 PS: 

 DONATE: I spend time-sharing with hundreds of families all over the US so they can cope with caring for their senior. I’m at home with my husband, George, on a full-time basis and I always appreciate a donation for my time-sharing with you on this site. I thank you for your kindness…and ask that you share my site information with those that you know are caring for seniors — francy 
 
 Join my Newsletter Listing: I just got the July issue out the door…I send out a newsletter and talk about the behind the scenes of daily care giving with George and clients. You’ll also hear about Missy and my crazy, busy life with joy – in the middle of chaos. Its a more personal look at Alzheimer’s. When you click and go to my home page it will take you through the sign up with your name, city and email and I will send you a small thank you gift Free…for your time. I will hold all your information private. You will receive a monthly newsletter and can remove your name any time from my listing. And once again I would appreciate you spreading the news about my work, there are  alot of care givers out there that could use someone to talk to and get ideas back. Thanks so much – francy

           

Frustrated, Alzheimer’s Care Giver Needs Help

by francy Dickinson                               www.SeniorCareWithSpirit.com Continue reading

If Your Senior Goes to ER – Are YOU Ready?

by francy Dickinson

Mother in Hospital visit by her Pup

There I was standing in mother’s room in our home and she was not doing well. It was time to take her to the hospital. I had been through this before and I was running around her room trying to pack a bag. All of her meds in a plastic ziplock, slippers, her hearing aid case, her eye-glass case, her robe, on and on as I am zipping from one side of the room – pulling open drawers and grabbing what ever my mind said to grab, then darting back to check on her. My husband is coming in the room, getting her up and into her wheelchair and I am covering her with blankets so we can wrap her warm for the drive to the hospital.

Once there she is taken into the ER and I’m asked to fill out papers. I can hear her calling my name. Mother could not hear and she was frightened and needed me but I was filling out paperwork. It was horrible. I vowed not to repeat this mess again with any of us.
I put together a small plastic envelop filled with information that would answer all the questions that the hospital needed and allow me a quick in and out of the check-in with really just a signature. So I could be by the side of my loved one, not answering questions and pushing a pen around. Check and done…I know you will find this helpful. My mother passed at 100 yrs of age. But now my self, my friend Cheryl and my husband Georgie all have info packets that stay in the small desk in our kitchen. We are all ready for the ER and no matter how upset or scattered we are when we leave the house for the Emergency Room…we will now have all the required information in our hip pockets or in our purse.
YOUR EMERGENCY ROOM INFORMATION PACKET:
  1. First, I sat down with the bag of mother’s daily medications and read them over and divided them into morning, noon and night. I wrote down the name of the medication, the dose, the amount of daily dose pills, the time to take them and why she was taking them. If I did not know, I called the pharmacy and had them explain it for me. I would ask if it should be taken with food, or before food. Most medications absorb better on a stomach with at least a yogurt or apple sauce taken first, now it was on the paper for me to see and remember.
  2. Once they were all written down, I bought a new pill container that fit her schedule and was large enough for all of her meds and supplements. Yes, Mom took supplements. I studied what would help her, then asked the pharmacy person to make sure it would be OK with her prescriptions. Then I separated the supplements to compliment her medications throughout the day. I added the supplements to my listing of pills and the amount in the supplement.
    Example for you:  
    Vit D3 – 500 units -1 pill- morning – w/food  – (energy and emotional support)
  3. OK, I was now ready. I brought the paper to my computer and started to enter her list of pills and supplements. The top of the page had mothers full name and our phone number. The computer would put down the update date so I could keep it current and correct. I used the outline I had started and did the full listing. As we added or removed medications in times to come, I would just enter the new info into the computer and update the listing. It made the entry easy and fast from that point forward. Trust me so worth the effort when you consider you have to bring the big bag of pills to every doctor appt and now the listing on the paper is updated and easy for the doctor’s staff and you to read and understand. It’s a great thing. Not to mention perfect for travel even if the travel is to visit a close relative for an over night or weekend. 
  4. Now I started to think of the questions they asked at ER check in. Does she have allergies to medications? So I typed in the title and put down a list of medication and food allergies. She had no medication allergies, but she did have allergies to peanuts and rose oil. Believe me, even if it seems pointless to state this, you never know what is in medications, or lotions used for back rubs or veggie stir fry in peanut oil…this is big deal.
  5. They will ask about history: I put down a short history, 4 children, no miscarriages, eye operation to uncross her eyes, and cataract removal, no other medical history of hospital stays. No history of diabetes, blood pressure or confusion. Then I added the medical history of her family: Mother and dad passed with heart ailments, brother with cancer, brother with stroke, sister with Alzheimer’s. There you go – a quick and easy review for any new doctor to take a glance and see that there was clear relationship to her own heart problems.
  6. Now the emotional: Mother is clear of thought, reads even at her advanced age, watches TV and interacts with the news of the day. She does get very upset with her own frail abilities and can get angry in the late afternoons. See? It is stated matter of fact but you get the issues easy and so will the attending physician.
  7. Now her abilities: Mother does not hear well and her left ear is her best and has a hearing aid. Right ear is lost with no hearing aid. Her teeth are false and she has uppers and lower bridge. She walks with a walker at all times or she will fall. She has limited strength in her legs. NOTE: In order for mother to live with us she has to be mobile so she works hard to get around with her walker. She uses a bath chair and commode by her bed at night. She rings for me to come and assist her in transitions during the nite. But does them on her own in the day time.
  8. Food and Drink; Mother is not on any special diet, she eats well and prefers light food. She drinks one coffee per day and is not able to drink water, so juice mixed with water is her liquid for the day.
  9. Her TV habits are easy to understand news with captions or food shows that she can lightly watch and understand.

    Can you see the idea?  All the information that the ER needs, the nurse stations need, the new doctors that are assigned to her called “Hospitalists” need to know……in one place. Easy to read and understand

When I first presented this to the ER hospital check in person she took in a breath and said. “Wow, this is great, thanks I will make a copy and I think everything seems to be here.” KAZZZAMMMM – It worked!

NEXT PAGE: The next page is a listing of doctor and insurance information. I started by going to the copy shop and making a one page filed with mom’s driver lic, her social security, her medicare card and AARP supplement card. It was all there on one page. She could keep her ID in her wallet and I had it in my trusty ER Info Kit.

I then listed her doctors, their speciality, their office phone and fax numbers. I had a small explanation under them:

Dr Anna Kline, General Practice  o/555-222-1234  f/555-233-5678
Mother has been with Dr. Kline for three years and Dr. over sees and does all mother’s prescriptions. We use 90 day Rx and generics when ever possible. Dr. Kline works well with mother and is easy for her to hear and understand.  (Last seen June of 2009)

AT the end of the page: I put a — 

NOTE: I placed my name, relationship and emergency cell phone and stated my place as her Power of Attorney. Her medical information is to be discussed with me before any major change in medication or procedure given.

All of this is in my computer under Mother’s name. I updated it each doctor appointment and it’s printed and ready to go in a clear plastic envelop that I keep in the kitchen. I put a copy of the Power of Attorney in with the above information. That needs to always be presented at the check in for the doctor appointment or the hospital check in.

PLEASE NOTE: Power of Attorney can be done on your own computer. You can buy a great program called Family Lawyer or do a search and the information will be on the Internet. You can buy the paperwork at an office supply store. But the software is really nice to use. Then you sit next to your senior and together answer all the questions that will walk you through the Power of Attorney for Health. (You can also do full Power of Attorney) But the hospital needs this to include you in the informational and decision process for your senior or family member or close friend. By the way the Power of Attorney has to be notary stamped. You can do that free at most banks or real estate offices. This will also require two witnesses. So, I have done it and had mom sign and I wait for two people “unrelated” to come to the house or ask a neighbor. This is a no nothing thing that takes very little time and will pay off as your senior ages and their health diminishes and you are really needed to make decisions in their name. Just as you will need it for a spouse, friend or child. This is an important step in your family health, so taking the time to get this done will rest your mind and be appreciated greatly in times of crisis.

There you go…how cool is that…your packet is done:

 

Emergency Info Kit:

  • List of medications and the details of each and supplements
  • List of the person information
  • List of insurance and ID cards with contact  numbers
  • List of doctors and their contact information and how you use the doctors
  • Your Power of attorney (copy only needed)
  • Name of patient on each page and current date on material that could be unusable if out dated

All of the above are gathered folded and put into your plastic envelop. I used one that had come with an old insurance plan. It worked so handy I looked and found others like it. I slipped in business cards of the hospitals so I would have the call in phone numbers of the nurse’s station. That is it….Gold in an envelop.

OK… so it takes a little while to do the project, but once done you are in order and planned for any emergency. No matter what their age your family members will sooner or later need to go to the doctor or have an emergency. So, do this project and be prepared.You have the information for trips, and everyday crisis that do arise. Your Packet will relieve all the running around when you are in a state of high stress.

Would you like to have other tips to keep your life flowing a little easier? I have a step by step practical home care work book that is perfect for any family. It goes over all the things you ask yourself and wonder about when you’re caring for those that are unwell or elders that need assistance at their home or in yours. I have had such great feed back with my “Senior Care Workbook 101”  that I can say with confidence you will use it with ease.

Thanks for all you do for others…francy