Are You Ready to Take Your Senior to ER?

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How to be ready for emergencies so you and your senior can get to the hospital and be comfortable while you deal with the Emergency Room or extended stay. by francy Dickinson

GrabnGo ER Kit 4 You!

Grab n Go Ready ER Kit – Just 4 You!

Dear Francy; I live in a small community and my dad lives with us. He had issues last week, his heart was in a race and he was fainting…on the floor…I was in a panic. I called the doctor, because dad was on a lot of heart meds and they said take him to hospital. A neighbor helped me get him in the car and off we went for a 28 minute drive to the hospital. Once there…they took over…but I just lost my head. I had none of his information with me, we start in ER and then were there for two more days while his drugs were adjusted and watched.  I was exhausted, worried and still dressed for work. It was an all around horrible situation. I remembered you talking about being prepared…I failed on that end…would you review the ideas for stress and emergency room trips. Thanks..Cindy, New Mexico

Thank you Cindy…don’t feel bad…I’ve been there too. You sit in that hospital and are uncomfortable…and can not just race home to change or get your things….so what I suggest is that if you are caring for a senior….YOU NEED A BAG FOR THE ER!

I have heard the stories for years…a spouse, family member or dear friend goes into a serious backward spiral and you know that you have to call 911 or take them to the hospital yourself. You are caught up in the moment of panic, worry and actual action of caring for the senior. Out the door you fly…to drive behind the ambulance or drive to the emergency care place yourself. The last thing on your mind is comfort..your mind is racing and your heart is in a high state of worry. But once at the hospital…everyone starts to ask you questions…social security numbers, health card information, does the senior have allergies, what are the medications that they are taking…you stand there in stunned silence…just wanting to be in the ER with your spouse or parent…and there you are – stuck with answering questions that you are not prepared to answer. After that nasty 15-20 minutes…you try to find your senior and they have started treatments. They are telling you things and you wish you could write them down…new ideas for treatment, interactions of medications and you are just trying to breath and tell your senior that they are OK…just hang in there. Then the ER puts the senior in a side area and they have to wait…wait for tests, wait for doctors to arrive, wait for ER or CAT scans…and the minutes stretch into hours and hours…then they say they will put the senior in a room for a couple of days…they want to keep them on close watch. Close watch? That means you don’t leave your senior’s side.

You are tired…your phone is on the last few minutes of energy…you have no phone numbers with you to use the hospital room line. You need to drink some water, have a snack but its the middle of the night and the cafeteria is not open yet and no change for the snack machines. You have now been at the hospital for 4-6 hours and you are looking at an over-night stay…sitting in a chair in the room. Nasty….and all of us…have gone through all of this and there is no reason to do that to ourselves….we do enough just loving and caring for our seniors. We need to be prepared for these fast, unscheduled emergencies….so we all need to put a kit together for our own use.

“ER Grab n Go Bag” 

If you have not experienced this yet, please believe me…it happens…your senior can fall or become unwell in an instant…and you will be faced with all this drama…and wind up feeling like a fool that you did not plan ahead to make the trip so much easier for your self. REMEMBER: the hospital is going to give full care to the senior in the emergency…YOU are the one that is not going to be cared for…you are simply in their way…so you stay quiet and try to stay close to your senior so you can give them calm and love. BE PREPARED!

ER Info Kit for your Senior

ER Info Kit for your Senior

START WITH ER INFO KIT FOR YOUR SENIOR

I keep an ER info Kit for George in my handbag…and one in the kitchen. I have given one to my sister and his kids know where I keep another copy. I have all the info that the ER entry office person is going to ask me. There is a good copy of all his cards, front and back. There is a review of what he is allergic to and his personal needs for check-in. There is a very detailed medical prescription and doctor listing and there is Power Of Attorney or a letter signed…that allows you to give and get medical information. I also tuck in the driving instructions so if I get too nervous or stressed…I can still get to the hospital. This is a must…and you have to take time to type it up and make copies…and then you are set to go. I update my medication listing…and you will find a whole blog on the details on April 21, 2010 called “If your senior goes to ER, are you ready” Please put that in the search bar on the top of the page and read over that blog…it has all the details for the paperwork to get you in the out of the check-in process of hospital or doctor visits. I can not tell you how many health care professionals tell me how they love my kit…you will too.

Just remember this information is all of the personal ID on the senior and it has to be kept private and safe…so keep it protected...I use a plastic envelope and I also have a whole booklet that I use for his medical information. If you do put together the “Grab n Go Ready Kit” you will also have a spiral notebook n pen to take notes. Trust me…I have given care to my mum and my husband for over 10 years now…you need these items when you go to the doctor and the hospital. I know you may think they have all the patient’s information in their computer system…but you are wrong…info is rarely updated and they often lose the patient in the computer files. Be ready to give them any thing they need to help the senior get well in the middle of a crisis. Do not count on your mind…even ss# can be forgotten or mis-stated when you see someone you love in peril! (NOTE: What I remember is wasting time at the check-in window when I wanted so badly to be with my frightened 95 yr old mother in the ER room…to keep her calm. I did all of this so I would never have to repeat that.) The next time we were at the ER…the check in lady…just took my paperwork and told me she would enter it all and bring it to me in the ER…it was perfect. I have been thanked by nurses, doctors and admin-people for having the information so well-organized and it only took the time for me to enter it into the computer the first time. I update the info every six months or on medication changes. Easy -peasy for no stress check-in’s.

 NOW LETS TALK YOU…HOW ARE YOU GOING TO COPE WITH HOURS IN THE ER– IF NOT DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL? JUST LIKE SCOUTS….”BE PREPARED”

hospital sleeping chair

Well this is the chair you get to live in for a couple of days. As you can see it is not pretty, but it does recline and you can stay in the senior’s room…by their side and be part of their healing team. Even a First lady, does not get anything better than a sleeping chair in most hospitals. But trust me…its a lonely place if you don’t have anything with you.

So, out comes your ER GRAB n GO READY BAG…and you have a few things to make yourself feel comforted and rest as you help your senior do the same.

  1. Comfort and Warmth; I put an old pair of sweats and a warm top in the bag…with cozy warm slipper socks…that way my clothes are presentable to the public…but totally comfortable for me to sit and sleep. I also have a throw…or you could put in a hoodie so at night you can be extra warm…the hospital rooms are always cold to me. They often give you a blanket…but its never enough for me. As you see the chair it does have a lift so your feet will be up and the back will tilt. I have a pillow collar that I can tuck under my head or put on my lower back to ease the comfort level. You can get blow up neck pillows in the travel department. They are honestly the best gift to yourself in this situation. (I would rather use my things instead of hospital things…its a germ thing with me…my things make me feel safe, not worried about catching something)
  2. A small water bottle is in my bag…you can refill it in the hall with the drinking fountains. This is just a must…I don’t want to be buying soda all day…and swell up…the hospital can have dry air…so stay hydrated. I also have a couple of snack bars…to get me through. Usually the emergency is through the night and when I am able to take a few minutes to eat…the cafeteria is not open and you are faced with only snack machines. So, I have my snack bars and I tuck a few dollars in an envelope and keep in my bag. Often times, I am out of cash in my purse so this makes it easy to get anything I want out of the machines…and then I can also go to the cafeteria for a sandwich or soup during the day. I also tuck in a few tea bags and sweeteners…you can always get hot water from the nurse’s station…and it tastes so good to relax and calm yourself with tea. You can also ask them if there is a snack fridge for family….the VA has a nice area for us to go and get hot coffee, yogurt, or pudding etc – any time, when we are with our loved ones. Don’t be afraid to ask…it maybe there for you, just steps away from the room.
  3.  Keep clean…wash your hands until you drop when you are in the hospital…and I have a small hand cleaner in my bag with Kleenex if I get snuffy. Plus…you will never find me wo/ my Advil. I have a bad back and I tend to get pressure headaches…so my little package of Advil that I got at the Dollar Store is heaven-sent when I’m in need. If I was taking medications…I would have a couple of ziplock baggies with a couple of days of those in my Ready Bag too. Nothing worse than going without your bladder or blood pressure med for a day or two…add in the stress and your body will really complain.
  4. Bored? Remember…people that are unwell…sleep. The hospital will give them drugs to keep them calm…but what about you? I bring a book to read. I use a Kindle but you don’t want to depend on remembering that….as you run out the door. A good old fashion paperback book and a pair of readers can be tucked in and ready for you to dive into and remove your stress in a good story. An older Mp3 player is also a great tuck in…yes, TV’s are in the rooms…but often they are on a channel that you don’t like or you can not hear them…so I make sure I have my own things to keep me calm. If you are a knitter…just tuck in an old project you have never finished…in a zip lock bag and its there for you. Think what it is that you enjoy…and make that happen in your Ready Kit.
  5. Calling the family? You need to have a re-charger in your bag…buy one that will recharge all your devises and if you tuck in your reader or tablet as you run out the door…you will be able to keep them going with your charger. Your mobile phone is your lifeline to the family…but many times the hospitals…block the cell phone signals. What then? You have to walk all the way to the front of the building and make your calls…not an easy thing to do. I had that happen to me and it was exhausting. So, write down a few of the key family phone numbers to keep posted. You can always ask them to send the information out to others. This way you can use the in-room telephone for local calling. I have my number in the front of my spiral notebook and I’m ready to go.
  6. Pets left behind…what about the mail? After a long stay in the ER and then you find out you maybe in the hospital for a day or two longer….have a neighbor or friend that has a key to your home and will take care of your pets. They can also pick up the mail and put it in the kitchen for you and just keep the lights out and everything in order while you are gone. I always put a key ring with my name on it…so the neighbor can keep it and knows who it belongs to — it could be a couple of years before the call could come for them to help….once you have this info in place…you can relax and know that all is well without you leaving your loved one to run home.
  7. A Ziplock baggie with little things that mean something to you…to keep you calm. Maybe you need cough drops…or lip balm. A new toothbrush and small toothpaste. Hand cream and face cream…Glasses and a glass cleaning cloth. Maybe you are a person that needs a few peanuts to keep you going or hand wipes to feel clean. If you are in need…you can tuck in a few Poise/Depend pads. Think comfort. NO the bag does not have to be a huge case…its just a big tote…but keep it full of things that bring you comfort…so when you are stressed and worried…you can keep yourself calm.
  8. If you forget your tote…then you call a friend to retrieve it from your hall closet and everything is in the tote..instead of the friend wandering around your home for a “few things”.

I suppose you read this and think…Oh, I will get on this pretty soon….please do not do that. Go right now and just put a few things in a bag and tuck it in the hall closet. You can make it fancy or expanded later..but get the ER senior’s information kit, in order and a few things in your own Ready Kit–RIGHT NOW. Its like giving yourself a gift…and you will rejoice in it if and when the day comes that an emergency hits your home…and you can just open a door grab your Ready Kit and walk out the door caring for your senior in need.

I always want to thank you for caring for your senior. Would you do me a favor and “sign up” up for the blog. That way it will come to you via the email and you will not miss any of the tips…and if you know someone that is a care giver…please share my blog with them…thank you.

As a spouse of a Alzheimer’s/Parkinson’s senior…I find the care giving can be so overwhelming and it represents such love. The gift of care is the dearest thing you can give to a person that has become unwell, unsteady or confused.

My Georgie has been declining a great deal lately. Falls and safety issues are a daily challenge for me to handle now. I am not blogging as much as I would like…but know I’m here for you to send me a message if you have a question or need help.

I am pleased to say I have a dear friend that helps me with my care giving….and I want to thank you for just “being there” for me in this journey I am taking with George….Friends are the best. I hope you feel I am on your friend list and you will feel free to ask questions that you may have at any time….Blessings…francy

Me with my friend Cheryl who is always helping me with George and supporting me as a loving friend...Thank you Cheryl!

Me with my friend Cheryl who is always helping me with George and supporting me as a loving friend…Thank you Cheryl!

Re-Charge Ideas for Family and Care Givers in 2014

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How to keep caregiver’s energy, emotions and health strong and re-charged in 2014 by Francy Dickinson

Care Givers have to be charged up and ready to go…
in order for their seniors to receive good care in the new year.

George and my niece Pam- at the table for Christmas dinner

George and my niece Pam- at the table for Christmas dinner

Dear Francy; I thought when the holidays were over I would be able to re-group and feel more involved and ready to give my mother another year of care. Its just the opposite, I thought this care giving would be a few months to a year at the most. Now, its three years and she is so filled with anger and upset…that I can hardly be nice…let alone excited about sharing my home with her for another year of my own life. I know that sounds horrible…I guess I am just getting to be bitter and I thought I was a nicer person. Do you have ideas to help me boost up my energy? 

ACCEPT WHAT CAN NOT BE CHANGED AND MAKE THIS YEAR ABOUT YOU!

I can not walk away from my husband even though his Parkinson’s/Alzheimer’s is going full force. Its not just ‘my duty’ as his wife…it’s my own choice to do the care giving…so as I arrange for George’s doctor appointments in the early part of the new year, I am also thinking how to help myself. I need to re-charge and get my mind and body in order so this year can be healthy for me and the days filled with happy activities for us both. Instead of living day by day in boredom or stress.

10 Things to Begin the New Year of Care Giving:

  1. The care giver’s personal health. Review how you are feeling. Are you able to obtain insurance? I know you get so into caring for your senior…but how are you doing with your own health? The new health care plan will be good for you to research. The rush is off, the state or government’s online sight is up and running…go take a look. You may be in the low income range and get a great deal with a good health insurance program and you can relax and have any outstanding worries checked. You will have a life on your own after your senior passes…so you need to check out your blood pressure, your weight, your energy level, any ache or pain and your food intake…and get an idea of how to keep YOU healthy.
  2. Weight gain is a universal problem for care givers. So, its time to really make a plan of action. Get a journal and write down the true facts. How much do you weight? Has your weight gone up more than 10 pounds in the last year? It’s time to tell yourself that a 20 minute early morning walk…or afternoon walk (while your senior is napping) needs to be added. Maybe you don’t want to do that in the cold or rain…so if that is so…than walk or run around the house for 1,000 steps or about 10 minutes each day. This action will get your body in shape and you will be ready to take that 20 minute walk when the weather changes in the early spring. — Tell yourself that you will eat every two hours. That means you will chose something to eat..not nibble all day, as you prepare your senior’s food and pills. — Chose a range of small snacks and meals that will keep your energy level up and keep you feeling full. Remove the easy things like sugar, candy, donuts…and add loads of water and green tea. — Small changes are the most powerful. Journal your ideas and keep that journal active so you stay on your plan.
  3. Add something new to your day, just for you. Get more books from the library or add a Kindle to your life and read. Your senior has lots of little rest times and nap times…if you plan to get your work done early and then take an hour or two in the afternoon to enjoy a new book. — Read up on a new hobby…many people are starting needle arts, men and women. Nothing like learning knitting, crochet or needlepoint and have an easy project at your side. Something that you can pick up and put down without worry. — Are you a guy that loves to work with wood or do small repairs around the house, but find the garage or workshop out back is too far to venture when you have to be close to your senior in care? One idea is to get a baby monitor and you can hear the change or the senior calling for you…or bring your work into the kitchen. Many seniors no longer eat in the kitchen when they are unwell…they eat off trays…so taking out the kitchen table and putting up a bench to work on projects is a fun way to begin a new activity and feel close to your senior. There are no rules to your life, making changes so you can enjoy personal time…is a key to success in your re-charge.
  4. Mentally, you are getting down with the extended care giving? Its time to join a support group. Today it is so easy. In person support groups for care givers are found at senior centers, libraries and coffee shops. You can find them in the local paper or ask at the library. You can also join an online support group that will help you with care giving or (like I did) with my writing. I have a group of wonderful woman that are busy with life and still want to write, many of them have published their work and we encourage each other to stay active in our writing. Even if our lives are so busy we can hardy breath…the weekly meeting is online in a chat room and we have grown to be dear friends. This support each of the members has given me has developed into a friendship that now goes far beyond support on our writing. There are Skype meetings and websites that have support groups. Yes, you have to find a group that hits your own needs or interests…or maybe your faith group has a senior meet once a week. Find something that hits your own buttons and do this just for you. The meetings are an hour and if you get one close to home your travel time is small. Your emotional health is just as important as your senior’s. I know you do things to keep your senior busy and looking forward..so now turn it around and look at your own needs and find a group to enjoy. Support or shared interests…groups are there close to you and also can find find ‘MeetUp’ on the net, with a listing of group meetings in your area.
  5. Calm…the stress of care giving is so high that most care givers have no idea what kind of strain it is on our bodies. Everyday is a surprise at our house, George is quiet and then has a fall…or an onslaught of diarrhea..everything is then thrown up in the air. So how can you get yourself back to calm – in the middle of chaos? You learn to breath. Its a simple way to train your mind to calm. You take three deep breaths…in with your nose and out with your mouth. When you do this the oxygen goes to your brain and you feel instantly calmed. The more you do it, the better you get at it and the results of being calm, get stronger. — You turn on mellow music, and turn off the TV for a while. Maybe 15 minutes of calming music in the house will calm everyone down. You have a good green tea handy (not coffee to make you jumpy) and drink it when the stress is overwhelming, it helps you feel calmed and gives you a sense of caring for your own needs. — You go back to stretching or walking, even if you do it in the kitchen…that will also calm your mind and reduce your stress, hurt feelings, worry and anger.
  6. Privacy. As George is getting more and more in need of full care…I am getting more and more in need of privacy. So, I have put a comfortable chair in the kitchen and a table with my reading, computer and such, next to it. I use this as my own little area…to sit and be quiet…to make a phone call or do some chat online and I find it really helpful. I may be giving George most of my time…but when he is settled down watching TV…I can go into the kitchen and watch my own TV channel or keep busy with writing, reading or on the computer. It has really made a big difference in my personal feelings. I needed help removing the feel of being “trapped” in the house.
  7. Cleaning. It is really easy to be in a home for days on end and not really do any real clean-up. There is so much to do with care giving that the energy to clean seems overwhelming. But I assure you that cleaning the house and organizing things gives you a natural ‘high’. Just as you feel good when you step out of the shower –nice and clean…so you feel good when you work on one room a week and get your home clean and clear of clutter. Older people that live in homes for 10,20,or more years get used to their surroundings. That means that they just turn off their brain to the living areas of the house. You have to fight this.
    >>I am thinking this way…when George passes, I will be on my own…I will be upset and sad…so why not start the process of cleaning and clearing up years of “things” now?
    I first started with the garage. It had been a few years since George was able to be in the garage…it had always been ‘his space’. So I really did not know where things were, or what a lot of the tools and such – were even used for. I slowly, (I mean a couple hours each week when I was taking out the garbage) sort and put a couple of plastic bags full of things that we no longer needed or used into the garbage can. I gave things to the Goodwill, I threw out things. I asked neighbors what tools were for and marked them or sorted them for George’s son to take home. I am proud to say…the garage is now clean and clear. NO…not perfect…but I know what things are…and George’s old stuff is really now gone. He had saved 15 books on car repair for various cars we had over the years. I do not fix cars…so those where thrown away. The fishing and camping things were given away, the boxes were cut down and slowly added to the recycle each week. Now, I feel like the garage is mine and I know where things are when I need them. One step, one room at a time…but keep moving through the house. A small paint project, new throw pillows…life can feel fresh and clean with small changes.
  8. Retreat. I tend to just be quiet and stay close to home now. I used to be a very social person and my Georgie and I would go out to meetings, to visit our family and friend, to work, to dance, to eat, to do sports and to go to church. Now we are “at home”. So, I am making more of an effort to call and invite family or friends to come and visit. I bake cookies or a pie (or buy them 😉 and put on the coffee and we enjoy a good visit. George likes the visits and I keep them short and within reason so he does not get too tired. But I get the reward of friendship and family. Yes, it means I have to clean the house and get out of my sweats. Yes, it means I have to take time to invite and prepare a small treat for my guests. But the return for my efforts is laughing and connection with family and community.
  9. Personal appearance. How easy it is to just cave in and wear easy and older clothing around the house. So last year, I went out and bought a few new things to wear and I try to dress up a bit every day. I used to dress in suits in my working days…so its nice to put on a bit of jewelry and make sure my hair is done and nails are done. If you find that you have let your self just melt into the daily grind…its never too late to change. I have a good sonic tooth brush, I have a wonderful fancy face scrubber and I make sure I am cleaned and have my moisturizer and lipstick on each morning. I wear clothes that are comfortable, but colorful and I add vests to keep warm…but I also add a scarf to feel colorful. I don’t care if you are man or woman…you know what you can do to look better and feel clean and proud. If you keep yourself groomed…you will keep your senior groomed and that adds a great deal to your inner sense of self and emotional health.
  10. Spiritual time. I certainly do not care what your spiritual leanings are because there are thousands of folks reading my blog…so there are thousands of different thoughts and beliefs. But I want you to start to take a time each day…to just go to your Private area…and get quiet. Relax your mind and go to the space inside your mind…that will bring you peace. If you like to read a book or daily word…if you like to just write down positive statements or listen to music or step even farther and connect to a faith leader online. Go to youtube.com and listen to someone on a subject that allows you to feel closer to your inner you. If you have gotten far away from the practice of prayer or meditation…don’t worry…it will come back to you. When it becomes a daily habit for you…you will find your mind, body and emotions will start to be stronger and more relaxed. I reached out to a former pastor and he is now stopping by monthly or when he is in the area…it has made George feel good and look forward to the visit, too. Do good things for you…and you will be able to do good things for the senior that you care for each day.

I hope this gives you ideas of how without money or a lot of personal time…you can still make changes that uplift your mind and spirit. I thank you for giving another year of care to your senior and I honor the love and the part of your own life…you are gifting to another. francy

PS…would you please go to the right and sign up for my blog? Thank you..it will be sent to you when I write it and you can enjoy it automatically. I am not writing as much as I used to because George’s care is getting more time consuming…but I am still here if you need me. Just send me an email…francy

Here is to your health and happiness in 2014

Help, Dad Fell Twice this Week

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Tips to help elders/seniors from falling – by francy Dickinson

George was an avid golfer, skier, ran and played tennis. Is there memory in those muscles still?

My dear Georgie was an avid golfer and skier. He ran, cycled and played tennis. Is there memory in those muscles still? Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s is robbing him of his mobility, how I am fighting to keep him moving.

 Dear Francy: Dad fell twice this week alone. He has a bruise on his upper thigh and his ribs are sore. I took him in to the doctor to check it out after the second fall, but this is so frightening. His Parkinson’s is just turning his legs into jelly. What can we do to keep him safe? 

I am right there with you. My Georgie is falling all the time and I worry so about a broken hip. How do you keep someone that is aging and losing their strength from taking tumbles? Well there are things you can do to lessen the problem. So, lets go through the list together and see what pertains to us and if we can use the ideas to keep our guys standing and walking safely.

  1. Start with clearing space. No matter where you live…look over the pattern that the senior is using to go to the bathroom, the kitchen, the bedroom and back to their favorite chair. Is there obstructions? Remove throw rugs, extra furniture and any clutter. Keep the area clean and clear…so the cane, walker or wheelchair is easy to use. If you have to re-arrange furniture so the senior is safer…do it. Life does not have to be pretty…it just has to work for the senior.
  2. Take note of the time of day that the senior takes their falls. If it’s at night they may need a better path to the bathroom or a portable commode. These commodes are easy to use and you tell the senior it’s just for night-time. Set it up right by the bed so there is only a couple of steps and then put in a good night light so the commode can be seen and used. When I had mom, I would use the commode by the bed at night and then take out the bucket, clean it and move the commode part over the toilet during the day. This provided handles for the senior to use when getting up and down off the toilet.
  3. “Table top walking” is a favorite with women. They do not want to break down and use that cane. So they move through their home by grabbing onto a chair back, a table top and counter. This is so dangerous and you simply have to draw a line and refuse to allow the senior to keep this habit. Get them a cane or a walker. The rule is a cane is for pain. Used for recovery from an operation, a break, or a arthritis type of continual pain. The walker is for steady and support-always get a walker with a seat, so the senior can rest if they feel weak. The wheelchair comes when the falls are simply so often that you can not depend on the senior to be safe alone. Physical Therapy should be ordered and they will review your senior and help them make the choice of what is right for them. If it is a walker or wheelchair, you will have to go through the living area and prepare space for the senior to move. Doors may have to be taken off hinges, kitchen areas cleared and a basket to carry food and drinks has to be added to the walker or wheelchair for convenience.
  4. Exercise. Physical Therapy can be the key to success to getting any senior walking stronger again. After stroke care, Parkinson’s, severe arthritis – it all has a lot of recovery to keep the body in movement and the PT will give special exercises to help the senior regain strength. I found it surprising that doing the exercises even three times a week made a big change for George.
  5. Recovery. Mom was a girl that had a series of tiny strokes. She was in her nineties
    Mother on the go in her wheelchair at 98 with our dear Kathy who helped me with care giving

    Mother on the go in her wheelchair at 98 with our dear Kathy who helped me with care giving

    and each TIA took away her muscle abilities. I told her in order for her to remain with me, in my home…she simply had to be mobile. I could not lift or transfer her all day with my bad back. So she was such a trooper. Each time she lost her balance and could not walk…she would pull her self up and use her walker inch by inch. With me following her with the wheelchair in case her legs gave out. She recovered over and over again. I know; first hand…that muscles do have memory and you can recover it with patience and continued practice. But there is always a line in the sand when wheelchairs have to be used and transfer help from a care giver is the only way a weak body is able to keep safe.

  6. Eating to stay fit. Protein is really important to re-build your muscles. Add a protein drink to the senior’s morning exercise routine. It will help give them a boost. Go over their food and make sure they have plenty of small ziplocks filled with treats. Carrots, celery, peanut butter on crackers, a cookie, fruit slices etc. Keep them handy so the senior can munch and crunch every few hours. If they are living alone, you will call them for a short reminder for pills and snacks – four times a day…this will keep their energy up. Often seniors forget to eat and drink..they lose their energy and that reflects in their ability to safely walk. My trick is that they keep a cooler by their TV chair and it is filled each morning with drinks, food, treats and the senior then does not have to go anywhere for their daily food. This is perfect when a senior is checked in the morning and evening by a care giver or family member.
  7. Rules: setting rules is no joke. You set rules for children when they are growing…so you need to set rules for seniors. They may break them…but they need to know they are there. George is not allowed to walk without his cane or walker. I spend my day finding a cane in one room and bringing it back to him and keeping the walker close. But his dementia does not help him remember. So, its my job to keep his tools of support around him close, so he uses them. George can not overload his hands…I now transport anything he needs in a basket so he walks with hands free and balance in check.
  8. Medications can be a big problem with falls. Talk to the doctor about his falls and tell him they are worrying you. Ask if he can review the prescription list and see if any of the medications could make the senior dizzy, tired or forgetful. So when you are giving the senior their morning pills – you can adjust their routine to allow them to rest for a while after they take their meds. Make sure the senior is sleeping in their bed at night and resting their brain and body. Many elders sleep in their chairs and nap all day. This confuses the body and does not help the senior stay strong.
  9. Talk to your senior. Just sit down and tell them your concerns. “Dad, I want you to live with us. But if you fall and break your hip – you will have to have more care in a facility. This is why we are all trying to keep you safe. I know that the walker is not fun, I know you don’t like to be bothered with me hovering. But I am doing this to keep you safe and at home (or with us).” When seniors hear your concern, when they understand your fuss is in love – they take note of their own care. Life gets easier. I often ask George; “What do you think we can do to fix this?” And through his dementia he usually has a come back. Some times its funny…sometimes its way to hopeful…but he feels involved in the conversation. A senior’s personal honor has to be kept in place for them to work with you on solving problems.
  10. NO SHAME _ NO BLAME I work very hard to deal with emergencies, not yell about them. Even though I get mad and exasperated when my Georgie does something silly and causes a big issue of a fall. I take the moment new. I use a calming voice. i tell him to relax and just stay still till he can catch his breath. I inspect his body and make sure he is in one piece. I ask him about pain level. (1-10) I keep him still untill he can recover his mind and review his own body. When I feel it is safe I assist him in getting up again, using a straight chair. I bring the chair to the site of the fall. I get George turned around and on his hands and knees. Then he puts his hands on the straight chair’s seat and I assist him to slowly stand. If he is dead weight and not thinking straight – I do not try to move him alone. I call for help. I have a neighbor that comes over and if he did not respond to my call – I would call 911 and ask for assistance with a fall. The EMS (fire fighters) come and get him up and into a chair or bed. They check him out and would then help me transfer him to ER in my car or by ambulance if it was needed. I force myself to stay calm and thinking.
  11. After a fall: I have George drink water while he sits calmly in his chair. I turn off the TV and put on music to help him relax. I bring him something that has sugar, like a cookie and make him tea. I sit with him and we talk about something totally unrelated. That allows his mind to rest back into place. The shock of a fall is hard for anyone. Letting the senior absorb the shock and relax again…then rest for a while before they go to the bathroom (or back to their day activity) is best. I always cover George with a light throw when he is in his chair…keeping him warm, rested, fed and calmed with music and talk…brings life back to him. I save my fears and upset for another room…away from him. Often the fall worries me – more than George. So I try to calm myself down with a little tea and maybe a walk around the yard or a chat with a friend on the phone. It’s OK to cry out frustrations, but its not OK to do it in front of the senior. They will feel nothing but guilt over your upset.
  12. Pain. If the fall causes bruising or pain. Its best to make a call to the doctor’s office and ask to talk to the nurse. Tell her what you have done and what the senior complaints have been. They will tell you what to look for that would require the senior to come into the office. The rule I live by…is the ER and doctor’s office are there for real emergencies and I take that seriously. Just like a new mother…it takes experience to tell when a baby is in need of rest and love or a trip to the doctor. So it goes for seniors in care.

Just the fact that you care about your dad and his falls..tells me that you are a kind person there to help your dad through his elder challenges.

George is now waiting for his PT appointment to get a wheelchair. I am concerned what that will mean to our household routine. Will he not want to even try to walk or exercise when he gets in that chair? Will his dementia and Parkinson’s really start to take a dive when he is no longer moving on his own? I worry about change…

I know what it takes to give care on a full time basis. Its lonely. I thank you for your love and kindness to your father. I hope these ideas have helped. Blessings, francy

Alzheimer’s Secret – Highs and Lows

How to help Dementia and Alzheimer’s energy stay moderate not high or low…by francy Dickinson

Ups and downs of Dementia Alzheimers

George up and happy with Mimi’s visit

We just had a great surprise…a long time Twitter friend came to visit! George was up and happy and involved with meeting her and talking to her…but today – he is in bed. Does that sound familiar?

I really wanted to share the Up’s n Down’s syndrome because so many of us have experienced it and it leaves us (as care givers) feeling like we see another person from others.

When George has his family come to visit, he perks up and gives them his attention,  love and laughter. They walk out the door and he takes a crash dive and I have to pick up the pieces. It has happened so many times that I have learned a few tips and I thought I would share them.

You are not going to be able to help others understand that the person they chat with…is the best they can be. The senior is on a high in energy and is performing for them. The visitor sees that person and believes that is how they are on a full time basis. I have often gotten a little lecture about my comments on George’s condition; that they must be exagerated. That is always so hurtful to me.

I want George to be well, to be happy and live a wonderful retirement. I want him to spend time out and about and enjoying his life with his friends and family. But no matter how much I want that for him, it will not happen. George, has Alzheimer’s that means that he has up’s and down’s and I am the one that has to try to keep him within boundaries so his life is as rich as it can be on a daily basis.

As a lay-person, it has been explained to me that each of us lose bits of our working brain each day. If we are healthy those bits are replaced by the body. When a senior has Dementia the replacement of those bits becomes labored and then slows down like molasses. So, if George gets excited and uses up his energy and brain bits on a single event…it takes time for him to recover. He has to restore his body and brain energy and working parts. As the Alzheimer’s moves forward that replacement gets slower and slower and one day, will simply not happen.

That means I have a job…to decide what is worth George having a high and then a few days low. Some times I simply have to say NO, to an event in order to keep him on an even keel.

Here are some ideas to think about when you are making those decisions….should I take George to an event, or have so and so over to visit? Or, should I say NO, and be the bad guy. Thus, giving George a reprieve from a heavy low…that would take days to recover.

TIPS TO HELP YOU MAKE SOLID CARE DECISIONS:

  1. Make sure you remove your own feelings in this decision. This is a hard one; as the spouse of a senior with dementia…my life is involved in each decision too. So I try hard to step back and make my care decisions for the best of George…not the ‘best of francy’.
  2. Has George been having a solid and calm month? Not, the last few days…but the month. Alzheimer’s has a flow and monthly is the smallest amount of time I use. Maybe he has had a month of falls, or bladder accidents and emotional upsets that have been higher than normal. If that is so, then extra visits, events, or celebrations are put on a low burner.
  3. Plan ahead. I have a 4th of July celebration coming up. It is extra important this year because we have lost one family member and gained another. Many of my family is going to be at this celebration and I want George to go. So I am already planning ahead. I am going to make sure he is exercised each day of June.  That he does not miss any of his meds, and has plenty of sleep. I have decided on the day of the celebration I will take things to make sure he can have a mid-afternoon nap and will eat well, with extra sugar to give him energy.  I am planning that far ahead…so he will go through the day with the least amount of stress as possible. If he gets extra tired…I will be ready to leave the event and go home.
  4. Visiting at our home or going out? I find that George is getting more and more attached to the ‘safety’ of his own home. It is easier for us to have a visitor here…one or two at a time. I can remind him of the visit a couple of days ahead. I start to talk about it and then he is eased into the idea of excitement. I make sure he is up early that day and gets ready and then has time to be calm before they arrive. I remind him again of who they are and I always serve food to calm him and keep his energy up during the visit. I keep the visit down to no more than two hours. (as time goes on, this time limit will dip down to no more than 20 min.)
  5. Events out. I have been surprised lately that George does not do well going out to dinner. He does well out at lunch. But dinner upsets him, he is bothered by all the people, the noise and thinks the food is bad…so why take him out? Because I want to keep his mind feeling that going out is ‘safe’ and normal. I have decided that I will only take him out to lunch from no on. The stress of after ‘4PM out the door’ is too much for him. I try to think up ‘out of home’ visits weekly – but make them calm and easy on George.
  6. If George goes out to my sister’s home and visits, he is fine. He knows the home, the people and he just sits and enjoys his time. It really gives him very little stress. If he goes to his son’s home with family, he is fine. But he goes there less often so the stress is higher. Now if he goes anywhere that he does not know the place, or many of the people are new to him – that is no longer good for him. Even though his life has been very social, he traveled a great deal and loves people— George is not his old self. I have to remember that and work around his fears and upsets…and make his life ‘safe’ as much as I’m able to do.
  7. Surprise is not a good thing for George. That is what I try to keep to minimum. If someone is in town and calls to come and say; HI. I ask them to wait a while, so I can approach George with the news and let it sink in. Let him get up and get dressed and not be too rushed. Let him know they are coming and I talk about it with a calm voice and up energy. I ask the visitor to come around 3ish…and to stay for an hour. It can be embarrassing to do this to people…but I have learned that it is worth my discomfort if George can have a nice short visit and still feel well the next day.

The point of the above tips, is to show you how I am now just easing the way for George. I try to keep him in the loop of our daily lives. But I no longer share the heavy stuff. I don’t talk about bills, emergencies like my car needing repair, the chores around the house that need to be done, or the choice of what food to eat for dinner. Those ideas and thoughts would take George into a worry and maybe a depression.

This is where the hard part starts. Because as a spouse, the sharing of daily life is what you do with your spouse. George and I will be married 30 years this September…we have been bestest friends and he had been a business professional. To leave him out of the loop of life’s pressure is totally foreign to me. But I have to ‘man’ up and know that life is now mine to oversee.

What I also have to know inside my mind? That George’s health is important to me. So is my health. That means I have to make decisions that are good for George and are still healthy for me, as the care giver. I often have to say; “I have to come first, in order to have the energy to care for him wisely.”

It’s hard to explain to others, when they just want to stop by and take George out for coffee. Some times its a good thing, some times it’s simply is a NO. Don’t be afraid to be wrong, we all make decsions that turn out to be not the wisest in the book. But do get in the habit of thinking small daily issues through. Take your time; one day of not caring, could mean two weeks of you helping your spouse through a tough recovery. Days of no energy, confusion, anger, depression…that is a hard way to learn that thinking through your daily activity choices is important everyday.

Blessings on all that you do. I wish you well with your decisions. George just had breakfast in bed and I will get him up later to sit in the sunshine for a while. Other than that, he will be resting today…healing after our fun visit with our wandering Twitter friend.  😉   francy

Keep Seniors Eating with Healthy, Easy Snacks!

The importance of healthy snacks or small meals for seniors and elders in care. by francy Dickinson

healthy fast snacks for seniors in care

Apple Pie Always a Senior Favorite

Dear Francy; My mother is not eating…I am not kidding. She has always been thin, but now, she has no appetite. I have tried every dinner I can think of but nothing works. What can I do to spark her taste buds? Anne

When you get older, and many times when you are on certain medications, you lose your taste buds. The taste of food no longer pulls you in…nor does the smell. So, the best thing to start is to really spice up the meal with low-salt herbal spice mixes like Mrs. Dash. My secret is to simply tell the senior they do not have to eat a meal…just snack. That might sound easy but it means you have to make sure that snacks are easy to grab and easy to chew and swallow. So, this is a little extra work on the family member that over-sees your mom’s care.

Every 2-3 hours the senior needs to have a snack…a protein drink, a piece of cheese ( I love cheese sticks), a slice of good deli meat, veggies with dip, fruit with dip, a piece of chicken, a slice of steak, a baked potato. Keeping that energy level and blood sugar on an even keel is the true key to strength in mind and body. How can you help them with smaller eating all day long? Here are some tips to help them on their way.

It means you have to prepare food ahead and have it ready to go…so I will list ideas that will keep you involved and keep her eating:

Senior Snacks:

  1. Chicken is so good….so you have all sorts of ways to serve it in small pieces. Bake or buy a roasted chicken and have it sitting in the fridge for snacks, or pre cut it into small pieces and have it in a zip lock…even easier. OR — buy the large family size chicken thighs and legs and put them into the oven – spice well, put BBQ sauce on a few and bake them all. After they bake and cool…divide them into small zip locks – freeze a few bags and keep a couple in the fridge for easy snacks.
  2. Apples are so easy to use…you can peel, cut and slice and put some lemon on them and tuck it into a ziplock for easy grab snack. Serve it with a sweet dip, caramel..or some sour cream mixed with honey and cinnamon. Adding protein, calories is the point. If they dip, its more calories and that is a good thing
  3. Another soft dip sauce that is easy is peanut butter with honey and nutmeg…it makes a great dip for fruits and celery –always adding in calories and protein to everything that the senior eats
  4. Buy full seed and bran breads and crackers so when they choose to eat, it’s filled with good grains
  5. OK-Mok crackers are high in fiber, so are wheat thins – they’re best if you put them into a glass container on the counter – so the senior is tempted to grab a few when they walk by.
  6. Visual is so important…so make sure their cupboard is filled with containers not boxes. Buy see- through containers that will keep snacks fresh but let the senior see and grab easily. Do not pile on loads of food, best to do small amounts. If they live alone; buy a box of crackers, put 1/2 box in the container and take the rest home to your own family to enjoy. That way the crackers and snacks stay fresh for grandma and they change types often.
  7. Get soft cream cheese that is flavored with something they enjoy…the strawberry cream cheese is delish. I enjoy the salmon one myself. Good things are available in the dairy isle…take a look. They are pre making all sorts of things, including puddings. Remember buy small containers so they do not spoil so fast.
  8. Yogurt is great, but many elders do not like it. So introduce them to the Greek style yogurt that is richer and the new trend is putting loads of goodies into the yogurt. You will find it easy for the senior to have a small treat that tastes so rich.
  9. Every week, take over another fruit that is fresh. Strawberries; hull them and have them ready to reach in and take a bite. Do not put them into the salad drawer…keep them right out on the shelf so when the fridge door opens they “look” good and ready to eat. Always prep the fruit so the senior will eat it. Pineapple is so good, but only if the senior can take a bite size piece…otherwise it looks like too much for them and they pass over it. Bananas are great…and show grandma she can cut it in half and eat it…then eat the other half the next day. Often seniors say; I can not eat a whole banana…so let them know it’s OK to only eat half
  10. Veggies; many elders do not eat raw veggies. It was not popular when they were cooking or growing up. So, entice them with cutting veggies into small pieces and buy the tiny carrots and tomatoes. I buy a larger Rubbermaid container that has a green top. It’s a “fresh” container. If you get the larger one, you can fill it with a mix of little veggies that the senior can grab. It will stay fresh for a couple of weeks and then you can add a few different veggies to the mix. You gotta have “Ranch dip” for the veggies…and a secret? You can add in 2 scoops of vanilla protein mix folded into the ranch dressing. Each time they reach for it…they have more protein with each scoop. Watch the due dates on things and be prepared ‘throw away’ things. Try not to fuss over the waste…its better to have good food available for the senior than force them to eat left overs for days.
  11. Soup- I make my soups, cool and put a serving into a small ziplock. I then take it over to the senior. That way they get homemade split pea soup, German potato soup, chicken and broccoli soup– without buying a can and its the family recipe they probably cooked on their own for years. I freeze the soups and always write what it is on the ziplock in permanent ink. They can grab and go with soups in the freezer to the microwave or bag into the boiling water for heating.
  12.  Steak is often not eaten by elders with problem teeth. So, I buy small steaks, I slice them into small long slices. I then marinate them for 3 days and put the juice and the steaks in smaller ziplock. This way they can fry the steak in just a few minutes and have thin small size to eat as a snack or dinner. (Easy Marinate:. 1 bottle of Italian dressing into a large ziplock and put in the steak pieces. Place it in the bottom of the cool meat drawer, in fridge and turn it over every day. ) Once again, transfer the meat once it has soaked for three days and put small amounts into ziplocks so Grandma can grab them easy and fry up with an egg for breakfast or a baked potato for dinner.
  13. Pies are a perfect meal if you make them with fresh ingredients. A good apple pie can be breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack or dinner.Seniors do not have to think of fresh fruit pies as dessert…they can be just everyday eating. So when you bake or buy a good fresh fruit pie…cut it up and put it into Ziplocks.( I know I use a lot of them and I do buy the off brand of zip bags in bulk.) This way a couple of pieces are in the fridge and a couple more in the freezer. The senior needs smaller pieces and almost everyone loves the taste of fruit pies. They need to place them on the plate and hit them in the microwave for 1 min to warm and that brings out the flavor again
  14. Apple sauce and apple butter…both great stuff to have handy. The apple sauce comes in flavors and is in single serve containers…how easy is that one? Apple butter makes a good yummy toast treat on top of a rich grain and nut bread.
  15. Old fashioned but yummy: Quick coffee cakes and small one egg cakes work great for seniors. Once again; you leave out a small about; 2 small pieces and then they can add ice cream and have a filling treat. You can buy them at the store and cut it…or make easy cakes on your own.
    Here is my recipe for the one egg cake   http://joyfilledcooking.familyoven.com/
  16. Soft cheeses make for good dips and cracker toppings – I like the cheese with herbs and garlic…OH boy YUMM
  17. Popcorn may seem like a good snack but seniors can not eat it well, so go to Trader Joe’s and look over their selection of chips and snacks. They even have sweet potato chips, pretzels with peanut butter inside – be creative, it will pay off…the senior will love the new tastes
  18. Heritage…this is my trick. I think of the senior and what they ate when they grew up. What recipes were popular in the 1920’s or 30’s? What country is their heritage or are they Jewish or Latino? That means they have flavors that are in-grained in their mind about food. Once you get a feeling for the spices and treats that they enjoyed when they were younger and raising their own children…cooking, entertaining — those are the tastes and smells you want to bring back to them
  19. Many seniors love candy…sugar can really boost their brains as well as energy. Old fashioned hard candy like lemon drops, licorice that’s in small pieces and fresh so they can chew it. Do not bother with peanut brittle or taffy…their teeth will not do well with it. Keep a candy dish by them with spice drops, MnMs — It looks festive and tastes so good
  20. Add drinks with protein. You have to get your senior into protein drinks. If you have to buy a few and get the taste going…do it. I always chill the drinks, they taste better…there are many chocolate ones and the taste is vastly different between the companies. You can always do a vanilla flavor and ask them to drop in two strawberries and do a quick blend each morning. Work on it, your time will pay off with added intake of calories and protein. Most seniors have one each day and often two or three if they are not eating well

I hope the ideas have helped you thinking in a different direction. For us eating is so easy, we can even do a drive through to get a quick burger. Seniors living alone and elders in care are limited to what is in the house and how easy is it to prepared and eat. That is the key…easy.

Good luck, and thank you for all you do for the seniors in your family. Care giving can be a time-consuming and lonely time, thank you for your gift of love.

Blessings, francy

Would you do me a favor and click the LIKE button and write a comment so I know how to give you some tips to help your life be a little easier…OH, and click the JOIN button and they will send you a notice when I have a new blog for you.

*For all that want to know about George…he is due for this summer memory appointment. I will report back with how it went and what the doctor says about his medications. He is now on a cocktail of Alzheimer’s drugs…to boost his brain…Thank you for your prayers, I always feel them. f.

Loving through Pressure and Stress

How to cope with care giving in the middle of high stress…by francy Dickinson

OK so some days the stress and anger simply hit the screen of life and I have had one of those lately!

  1. Pressure building was my husband fighting Alzheimer’s and having more problems with personal accidents and the clean-up that involves
  2. Then I added on a nasty fight with spring allergies. My eyes have been swollen shut most of the last two weeks. The itch and worry over my eyes has not made me a happy camper.
  3. Worry over money has been a big problem for me and all seniors living on small budgets. Its a daily worry and now that George has lost his ability to understand that problem, it is getting worse. He forgets we can not spend money and often asks for things that are not in our budget and its hard on me to tell him, NO
  4. Then the car stopped working in the middle of the road while my friend, Cheryl was driving. She was suck in the middle of traffic and called all worried
  5. I was feeling panic over-coming me…I sat down and tried to take the issues into mind and be calm
  6. I called AAA car club and renewed our membership so the tow would be covered
  7. I called Cheryl and told her help was on the way.
  8. I called the car repair place and told them my car was on the way and I would have to OK repairs because of money restrictions
  9. I called my sister and asked if she would help me with the repair cost and I would pay her back
  10. I called Cheryl again and made sure she was OK…she said that the tow truck was there
  11. I called a dear friend and asked her to go and pickup Cheryl and bring her home

All during this problem, my eyes are swollen and I can barely see the screen of the phone to make the calls. George is in the living room yelling at me and telling me how stupid I am and how I should listen to him and let him make the decisions. Bad language is flying in the living room and the people on the phone could certainly hear it. What to do? The stress building and building?

  • I took a deep breath and went in to George and told him to calm down and he was not going to speak to me in that way
  • I was angry and I expressed my anger…I told him to be quiet while I tried to figure out how to handle all the problems- I kept my voice in a calm tone so I would not push him into any more anger
  • I removed myself from the living room…closed the doors to the kitchen to block the noise and I fixed George tea and a sugar treat
  • This sugar treat would serve to raise his level of energy and give his brain a boost and usually cools down the anger
  • His inability to “fix the problem” was giving him a power problem – he wanted to be the answer man, but could only be angry
  • Returning to him with a time out and telling him Cheryl was fine and on her way home and car would be fixed
  • George was too angry to accept it as the end of the situation he kept up the ranting for over two hours
  • George was then too tired to even walk to the bathroom and had to call for my help
  • I put him into bed after the bathroom and turned on the TV with a military channel to take his mind in another direction
  • I closed the door and called my sister again to talk about the money and the repair shop to get the news that the fuel pump had died and would need to order the part
  • I fixed myself a cup of tea…I went out the front door and walked around my house…even thou I was avoiding pollen, I needed the air
  • I came back in to another call from the repair shop that there may be more repairs to come
  • I fixed myself some lunch and drank water with an Emergen-cee package of 1,000 vit C
  • I took the dogs out to the back yard and swept the walk
  • I came back in and cleaned up the kitchen and checked on George, who was now asleep
  • High Event was over and George would forget the entire argument when he woke up- but I wouldn’t

No I was not OK….

Yes, it was a nasty ‘Event’

Yes, I kept my mind working on life instead of focused on not having money, or  car problems and care giving problems

I can not change my income at this point in my life…but I can still change my overall thinking process. George is to unwell with Alzheimer’s to correct his outbursts….but I can keep myself from jumping into his anger pool.

I know that the job of a spouse to care for their loved one is a hard job. But I think the anger issue and the lack of the one being cared-for to appreciate the care that is given– is the hardest issue I have at this time. Yes, I often feel badly that I am angry at the way George reacts and his lack of appreciation…but NO, I can not change his frame of mind. I can only do things to give myself – my own feeling of appreciation.

  • I made a few calls to friends to hear them say I was OK…and I was a good person, I needed that
  • I took a long shower and tried to tend to my face and eyes to relieve the discomfort
  • I put on spring clothing so I had brighter colors around me
  • I did not go off my diet, I am on a low carb diet and I simply had a special chocolate drink that was low in carbs
  • I moved around the house…getting myself filled with movement and listening to music helping my stress dissolve
  • I played with my dogs…giving them care and their kisses brought me happiness
  • I stayed away from George so my mind was kept calm
  • I sat down before I went to bed and wrote out my worries and upset in a journal so my feelings would be honored, but not haunt me all night
  • I allowed myself to cry out the upset and I was able to sleep

We may not be able to make life less stressful..but we can face the stress and work through it. I did not fix myself a drink, or take a sleeping pill. I knew that would be an unwise way to escape the pain. I wanted to face the pain and change it…not run from it. Because I am a strong woman that can calm myself down, think through my problems and ask friends to help me come up with answers.

I wanted to share this Event with you…because I know if I’m having a hard time….so are you. Giving care to others is not an easy or fun thing to do. Pretending that spouses giving care is no big deal is a lie. Life hits and family members need to be cared for no matter what is going on in your daily life. I understand the pain you feel, the fear that takes over your heart and the uncertainty of your own future.

Try hard to remember there are thousands of us going through this experience and there is a tomorrow, there will be a happier time ahead and you can catch moments of joy even on days filled with ‘Events’.

Being honest and open with our friends, family and our own self…is the most important action we can take. Just hold on, because I am sending you all prayers of strength…we can do this,we really can and we will rise again to a life that is filled with memories of good times, not bad. Memories of giving our loved ones our love and our all….and knowing their lives were filled with our loving care all through their end of life journey.

Blessings…francy

Waffles for Family Brunch w Seniors

Family time with seniors and how to keep the senior in their own home. by francy Dickinson

Sourdough Waffles for Brunch!

Spring time is a perfect time to visit your seniors and take the makings for a meal. I always think that food breaks down the gap in a diverse family. My favorite meal on Sunday is waffles. I do it the  easy way, with Bisquick, and then I like to add in my sourdough from the crock. The waffles smell so good and are so rich. I always get a special syrup – in our house- its boysenberries. Then I do a quick egg for those that love them and keep it simple for those that just want the yumm of the waffle. If I think ahead I get a basket of strawberries and use those on top of the waffles too! YUMM.

It is usually easier to just take food over to Grandma’s house. The TV can go on and the NASCAR races, basketball or football can be entertaining the family. That leaves you to spend time with Grandma and get her kitchen cleaned as you prepare the waffles. The interaction with your elders on a fun basis, allows you to check out the condition of their kitchen and food pantry. When elders are living on their own- they need to be checked by the family to make sure they are eating well and keeping the house clean.

I always had the breakfast planned the day before, then we would go over to mom’s around 11:30AM so we could sleep in on Sunday. The family would say NO…but when we were all in the car the mood changed and the day was reprogrammed for helping Grandma.

As I cooked, the youngsters would be in the living room with the TV on. They would dust the area and run the vacuum. I would have my husband set the table in the dinning room, so mother could use her sweet china. It made a simple breakfast into a special meal.

I would be clearing out the fridge making sure the dates on the products were current or I would throw them and make a shopping list. I would go over the counters. Older eyes have problems seeing details in the kitchen….so a good counter top clean is easy and helpful. I would use a hot cloth to clean the shelves of the refrigerator and wipe off the stove top.

Making sure her dry pantry was not loaded with products that were ages old. When elders stop cooking or just cut it down to cooking for one…the pantry tends to age. You do not need old flour, cake mixes or canned food. It really takes a very short period of time to review it and clear it out. Once again writing down what should be replaced on the shopping list.

Keeping the conversation uplifted and involving the senior with your projects you will find the few hours you visit go fast and loads gets done.

While the table is being cleared and dishes done. My husband or the younger kids…would go around the house to do Grandma’s “to fix list” . The back yard might need mowing or the lightbulbs changing…what ever it is…you make a quick run through the house to make sure its safe and secure.

Don’t forget to change batteries on the fire alarms, change the filter on her furnace and clear the back porch so she can escape in an emergency.

Once a month, brunch at Grandma’s brings you all a good meal and a feeling of family. This is how we can keep our seniors in their homes. By helping them with the little things that get out of kilter…the things that need to be fixed, replaced and added to the mix to make their aging home stay clean, efficient and safe. Start your monthly visit for the whole family…your youngsters will learn how to gift their time and enjoy the love that their grandparents have for them, too!

HEY…would you click on your right and sign up button. You will then be notified when I share a new blog. And yes my senior care books are coming out…I am very excited about them.

UPDATE: on my Georgie..he has had a very tough month with his Alzheimer’s he is in a very emotional place. He had his meds upated and that helped. It has taken a lot out of me too. As you know the care giver is so involved with the spouse that a bad day for George is a bad day for me. But sharing what I do and how I have learned to cope, helps me get over the humps. Wishing you all a wonderful Spring…Here in Seattle we have had rainy weather day after day…so I am looking forward to the warmth and time in the yard again.

Blessings on you all…francy