The Fear of Loss and Pain of Grief

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Facing the loss of your loved one and living through the pain of grief when they are gone…by francy Dickinson

699-happy-new-yearDear Francy:
Most of you know I lost my dear Georgie last year, in November. My holidays were blurry that first month…and so this year is my first holiday without my Georgie and the sadness and feeling of loneliness has been hard for me.

I enjoy hearing from all of you and I have been returning emails and helping anyone in need of a good talk through…but I have not been posting. I am in hopes that I will be able to concentrate and get posting again on a good speed in the new year. Its one of my first of the year goals.

Its my birthday…and New Years Eve and New Years Day used to be a happy time for me. I felt the whole world celebrated my birthday…so I always looked forward to it. In good times…George would always take me out dancing. Parties in cities close and far away. We were in the travel business…so traveling to a wonderful city for New Years was part of the excitement of the holidays. I am so aware of those memories when life was good and times were special with my guy. But what I want to share with you…is the fear and pain that took over when George started suffering from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.

This idea that you give care until someone passes is really not true. The truth is, mental health issues mean that a person changes in personality and in their memory on a daily basis. So way before any end of life issues pop up…you are starting to lose the person you love. Each day their brain changes and in bits and pieces they leave and never return. So in essence you lose your loved one every day. It’s a very hard thing to live with and hard to understand. But you have to be aware its the truth. Doctors, nurses they do not tell you these things…they do not give care like you do. They treat and diagnose — you do the care giving so you feel and see the changes. It could be a forgotten name, or a forgotten word and you watch them try to find another word to use in the conversation. It could be an emotional outburst or a series of days when nothing is said at all…quiet! It could be a strange walking gait, or a repeated action over and over again.

The doctors don’t see it, your family doesn’t see it…YOU see it and FEEL it and it scares the beegeebies out of you! What can you do…how do you make it better? Can you exercise it out…can you calm them down…can you change how you have conversations with them. Can you take the car keys away, can you put alarms on the doors to hear when they just walk out…can you put up signs to help them remember things? Your mind starts to race and you feel. ALONE.

I can not take that feeling away from you. But I can tell you…that you must keep your mind on the goal. That goal is to give your loved one the best “end of life” that you can. It may be a year or ten years ahead…but just take a step at a time and try hard to get support. Write to me, join a support group…ask a few good friends to meet at your place each month so you can express your fears and upsets. YOU need to be strong…because the ride is not pretty and it’s not short.

You also need to have as much help as you can. Trying to be quiet about the struggle will only hurt you and your loved one. Telling family and friends and asking a few of them to be your mind and heart is what is needed. Do you have a friend that is good on the Internet…well ask them to look up the details of problems you are finding and working through. There are wonderful tips out there, but they have to be found so ask that friend to be your eyes on the world.

Do you have a friend that will drive you around? Ask them to take you to the hospital, doctor appointments and therapy treatments. That way you can control your loved one, keep them calm and the driving can be safely done by your friend. You have to ask, you have to say…I NEED HELP. If you don’t you are hurting yourself and your loved one.

The brain of a dementia patient is not going to magically heal…so you simply have to be verbal to people about the situation. I told everyone in the neighborhood. “If you see George walking in front of your house without me next to him. Go out and get him to come in for coffee and call me…please!” Who are you going to impress by being quiet? Let your village know that you have a situation that needs their help…and you will get it back. People want to help…they just don’t know what to do.

I know my loss of George, after his death, has been hard on me. I adored the guy and we were bestest friends and I feel empty. I have to heal and begin to bring new things into my life to feel whole again. I know that…but for me…its been a slow heal. What do I do?

I talk to family and friends about my sadness…I look at pictures of him, I have a little area in my bedroom that has an enlarged picture and candles that I burn each night. It calms me and I feel close to George when I do that…even though he is not there…I feel him there and it comforts me. You need to do the same thing….but in your own way. Find little routines that make you feel safe and start to fill up time in your life. Plan your days, have future events on the calendar and bit by bit…be a part of life around you.

I still pull away from big events. Sometimes in a big family gathering I feel more lonely than in a small one. So I say no…if I feel the event is too much for me. But I force myself to say YES…to events that are smaller with people I know well and love. I am trying to develop a new me and still give myself the honor of the old me that was a part of my duo relationship with George.

Just remember…do not do this alone. Do not think a nurse or doctor has emotional and physical answers to the day by day tasks of your care giving. Do not get upset of friends or family leave you all alone…and rejoice in the friends new and old that will stand by you when you ask for their help. Know that money is not going to grow on trees and you have to stick to a budget because it can be a long, long ride. Know that answers to help you are there…ask me or others that have gone through care giving to help…and be a trooper…ask again and again. Life is meant to live with others not on your own….ask!

I know you can do it…and I honor the fact you are standing there day after day giving someone who is unable to care for their own life…care. You are a good person. No one will give you a thanks…nor will you get a reward for your care. In the mind of your loved one they think they are still…just fine. Nothing has changed…you know better…you know life is now upside-down…yet they think their life is in control. Be brave…force yourself to be honest and talk about the dementia as if it was the flu…let out your voice and keep the honesty of the situation everyday. Hurting feelings is not the point, honesty is the point.

You saw the path to the end of their life was laid out…you stepped up and took their hand and walked next to them.Your loved one is not alone. That makes you a very special and loving person and I am proud to know you. I know you will be honest with them, your friends and yourself and not stand alone. I want you to remember the world does not know you have a problem or you need help…without your voice shouting it out. Be brave and shout and keep shouting till you have a group around you to help you in your journey. No one will say it…but you are loved. Your loved one does love you…even if they can not put that into words…so just hold the honestly of knowing they love you and you are doing the best job you can…each and every day.

Blessings on your New Year…Keep your own health and body strong…life is still there for you after care giving. francy

Death, How To Cope When You Are The Caregiver

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Death and Dying issues to help caregivers by Francy Dickinson

Geo n francy oilMy Georgie has been gone for three months and I am adjusting to life again. I wanted to continue to share things with you. As you know, I began this blog to help myself and other spouse/caregivers with the issues that come up in daily care giving. I still want to be a voice in the wilderness for those that are giving their love, time, effort and attention to a loved one. Helping someone on their life’s journey is a very special and loving job…I hope you will find my words help you along the way. 

If you have been reading my blog over the years ~ you will remember I have always asked everyone to use hospice services when your senior is nearing death. You never have to be worried about it. The Hospice Services comes into your home and does an assessment of the senior and they share their ideas of how to help you. Their services are paid by a Medicare type of services…it then becomes a special Hospice Service expense and the medications and services are then no longer billed to you. So, financially, mentally and physically Hospice is the way to face the end of life issues with your loved one. It will help you overcome the worry and they will help you step by step…question after question.

That said; Georgie and I did not know he was at the point to call on Hospice. The doctors did not know what was wrong with George. He had a lot of tests and the diagnosis was not known. We had made another appointment for the next Tuesday to see the main doctor and talk to him about placing George in a care facility to review his health issues. In the mean time…we were home alone together. I was trying to understand how to use the oxygen, medications, catheter and take care of his physical needs. I was going on five days without real sleep and the situation was not good and we both knew it.  He was weakening by the minute and it was becoming very hard for me to do transfers and be strong enough to help him. We were ready for his “in hospital” care. I told George that after his stay at the care center I would be asking Hospice to come and help us and he understood that…but his end came before we could move through our plans.

Early on Saturday morning…George was taking his Albuterol breathing session. At the end of the session I went to remove the breathing mask and found he had passed. His eyes closed and he had stopped breathing. It was quiet and fast and I was heartbroken.

What I am going to talk about today is the process that followed. But once again, IF I had had the services of Hospice..all the following steps would have been taken care of for me. I would have been able to sit and be calmed by loving professionals and they would have taken over the different steps that come with a death while in their care. This is why I want you to NOT follow my lead…to avoid the sadness I had to walk through have the Hospice professionals by your side…caring for you and your loved one.

What to do when your spouse, or senior, passes and you are all alone:

  1. When George passed I went into shock. Lucky for me, I had my family and friends on my cell phone and I kept the phone close to me. I knew I was very tired and I had been afraid of my falling and needing help. So I was able to pull out my phone and call family and selected friends and our dear minister – to come and help me.
  2. Everyone arrived within minutes and each of them comforted me in their own way. They were not totally in the know…of what to do…but they worked together to decide on the immediate steps to take. I was in such shock, shaking and crying and just out of it…so they were gentle, loving and moved me through the process.
  3. We all knew we did not have to report the death the minute it happened. I had looked at the clock and knew he passed at 7:10AM but that was not really needed. I was just so struck with sorrow, I had no real knowledge of what was happening around me. That is why Hospice would have been so helpful…but my own support group did their best.
  4. Our minister asked everyone to come and circle around George and say a prayer and when we did that…each of us were then able to feel we had settled the tension and brought the love into a protective circle.
  5. If you have a faith that requires immediate burial, I suggest that you start today to make plans for the end of life. You will need to know the process and have numbers to call. In my situation, I knew that George wanted to be cremated, but we had no time frame to worry about. So we just took our time and did not call 911 until all the family members that wanted to view him, did so and at that time we made our call.
  6. Our local paramedics arrived and asked if they could inspect the body alone.So we cleared out of the room and they looked over things taking note that everything looked like a “natural death”. They wrote down the death and they made calls to the medical examiner and logged it in to the official book as a death with time and place written down. Then they alerted the police.
  7. A while later, the police arrived and they questioned all of us and asked questions about George’s health care and asked me to review the last couple of days. It was very hard for me to do this interview. I was still in shock and my mind was not able to connect properly with their questions. If I had had Hospice…that step would not have happened. Hospice is a legal service and the medical examiner takes their word for it. The police were very kind, but they had a job to do and they did it. Once again, they needed us to clear out and let them be with the body. When they were done…we were released to remove the body.
  8. We did not hurry…once again, we gathered together to say another prayer and wish George a loving passing. Then we called the mortuary services and they arrived to remove the body. I did not have to do anything personally. They simply enclosed the body and took it away. They were very kind and my family was very loving.
  9. My sister felt I needed to be taken home with her. I was still in shock and she wanted me to try to sleep and process the death away from the house.
  10. When I left my home, my friend and daughter-in-law cleared out the bedroom. They disposed of the sheets, pillows and medical things in the bedroom and master bathroom. They tried their best to clean the area so I could return to the house and not be upset. They did a loving job, that I am sure was very difficult for them.
  11. I returned to the house in two days. At that time, we had to go to the mortuary to review the details and pay for the services. They applied for the social security and veteran’s death benefit for me. So the basic paperwork was done.
  12. Now, this is where I will caution you. From that day forward, everyone I knew tried to help me. They gave me advice on social security, insurance, returning medical supplies, my own health, my mental health and so on. It was a constant barrage of information and suggestions to follow their opinions. This was the hardest time for me. I did not want to be rude…I listened and tried to understand what they were saying. But really, it became total overload.
  13. I will ask you to simply, sit and be quiet. Write down things and numbers and make your notes very complete…this is no time for shorthand. Then just take it easy. There is no time frame of getting services and help, insurance, social security and such done. Just do it on your own time.
  14. As usual…others try to take over and care for you. But you have to do it all on your own. It is best of you ask someone to drive you here or there. When we are upset the world does not need us behind the wheel of a car. But just write down a list of to do’s and slowly work through them.
  15. George and I had already talked through end of life issues. I knew he wanted no memorial and wanted a cremation. So, that made it easy for me. What does your loved one want? This is the time to talk and get it out in the open.
  16. The doctor had us fill out the no resuscitate papers and post them up on the kitchen door so the EMS could see them.  We talked about the issues of care at the end of life. So we were in place when his death happened. But what about you?  Do you have your end of life issues down on paper? Please do it for you and for your loved ones. Don’t make more work and worry for the loved ones left behind.

Lessons learned. I am still working on paperwork and details of my husbands death. I am still trying to learn to sleep and eat properly again after so many months of 24/7 care giving. It’s a hard road and I am walking it slowly, alone, but not afraid. I have support of friends, family and my small dogs. I am still working on my feelings of loss and I am still raw with my emotions. But I am taking care of myself now.

I gave care to my mother and my husband until their deaths. Now, its time for me to care for myself. Its hard to do…but I am trying day by day to form ideas of what my future is going to be. I so miss my Georgie’s smile and I can not imagine how I will live my whole life forward without him. But day by day…I learn and do.

I hope this helps you to prepare and take the fear out of a passing in your home. I cleared the house with love and blessed George on his way. I am sleeping soundly in our bedroom. I got new bedding, I brightened up the bathroom and I cleaned and cleared away the sadness of care giving in my surroundings. I now find my bedroom a place of comfort for me and I enjoy spending time there.

I will say…having my family and friends as well as my community of loving friends on Facebook, Twitter and through the group that follows my blog was totally positive and loving for me. I also had a #WritersThatChat group that continues to support me through the long grief process. I am a lucky girl to have had such a dear, as George, with me for over 30+ years. As I walk down my own path of life…I do not do it alone…I am surrounded with love.

Blessings on all that you do for your own loved one. francy

PS/ I find a little reminder of George is so healing for me. I blew up a picture of him and have it in my bedroom with a candle to light. I can have a good chat with him each day…kiss his picture and feel his love any time I am in need. Grief takes its own path…some move through it fast and strong…others have more up and down days. There are no rules for missing someone that you loved…but being ready for the hard time of passing helps.

Dad Does Not Remember Me… Dementia Care

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Dementia, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s family care tips by francy Dickinson

George in wheelchair

George watching the Seahawks game in his wheelchair

Dear Francy: I visited my dad last week and he did not remember my name or who I was — I was heartbroken. I don’t think I can make myself go and visit him any more…its so hurtful that he could just forget me. S.

I totally understand the mixed feelings you have inside…it is so hard on everyone involved with the care and love of a senior with dementia or brain disorders.

I want to share something my mother told me when I was care giving for her. She was 100 years old and she had this talk with me after one of her small strokes. She had a series of these strokes and they were always scary but she would rest and perk back up. She wanted to tell me how she felt. “When someone has a newborn baby…the parents and the whole family look for the small changes and growth in the child. When the baby smiles, starts to follow your finger with their eyes, turns over, crawls and walks..the family rejoices in each small step. I am doing that backwards. Each time I have one of the strokes I take a step back. My hands may get weaker, my eyes weaker, I can concentrate shorter periods of time, I walk slower. It’s just small baby retractions…instead of improvements. I am getting worse day by day. Just like babies get better day by day. It is very frightening to me…but I can not change what is happening.” I will always remember her explanation of aging and decline.

Losing abilities and knowing they will not come back is not only frightening for the elder with dementia…but it’s heartbreaking for the close spouse and family members.

To me, its like a small part of the person has left. Leaving means grieving. So in a way, you are starting to grieve the loss of your family member. They may be alive and you maybe sitting next to them…but the part of them that was special and intimate to you has changed…never to return. I have spent many a day grieving and crying over losing parts of my husband, George. One day he is getting up to go and make a cup of tea and the next he is unable to get out of his chair alone, let alone make tea. At first you think, well he will be stronger tomorrow…but tomorrow never comes.

What I have done is allow myself to grieve…to be down and dirty with sadness. I remove myself from my senior and do my tears and anger in another room away from their presence. I often take a walk and clear my mind…and then I return.

When I do return…something has happened. Both of us have changed. I know that George has taken another step backwards and he sees me with a smile on my face and a “begin again” attitude. Because that is what I do. I reset my mind and we begin the day again, with me taking the senior’s small or large change into my care giving routine. I remove my feelings of sadness and I deal with what is in front of me. A person that I love, that is in need of care and I have to give them love in return. Maybe the care is now on a higher level, but the senior is in need of even more of my love and attention.

I know that everyone has a button…yours was your name and your relationship with your dad. I get that…and you should talk about this loss and interact with family and friends over it. You may want to go to your minister, or an older person that has always given you good advice and discuss the loss of your dad’s awareness of you. Call and pay for a professional therapy session, let a professional give you tips on how to work through the bit, by bit…loss of your dad. You may want to start a journal and write down how you feel…and how it has changed how you feel about your own life. Work it out. Because your dad is still here in the world. He is still in need of your love and if the table was turned…he would be sitting there next to you, as you traversed the lonely journey of dementia.

What you do not want to do…is to use your pain and your dad as an excuse to go back to patterns that are unhealthy for your own life. You do not need to use your dad to start to drink, take drugs or harm yourself in any other way. This is not about you…this is about your dad…and your feelings of grief. Its your job work those feeling now, so you can have a healthy emotional life as you go beyond the loss of your dad. Do not ignore the sadness, don’t just shrug your shoulders and think it will not effect your life. You need to be in good health and solid mind to support your mother or other close relatives…so be aware that grief is a personal experience. Everyone goes through the sadness, so sharing it with those that have experienced their own grief and worked through the loss is the way you can stay strong for yourself and your family.

When you have worked on the ideas of who you are without your father’s acknowledgement..then return to his side. Treat him as you would anyone. You start by introducing yourself…”Hi Dad, it’s Stacey– your first and best ever daughter!” And then you sit and slowly talk about your life. Yes, maybe its a wasted visit, because the information will come and go from his mind. But I don’t believe that it’s wasted…I believe and have seen that elders that are visited often, are more responsive and calm during their days. They process their daily life chores in a different way than those that are left on their own and forgotten in the facilities or in their own homes.

I am a deep believer that family and friends are there for life. That means even when someone is unwell…or taking a journey through an incurable cancer, brain or dementia condition…they are there and they are in need of support, love and prayers. You have to work through those inner feelings of rejection and loss…and come out on the other side with the basic love you have always felt for your dad. That love has to now take a new change and express itself with selfless gifting of love and time to your elder…so they can have someone by their side in their journey. No one should be alone at the end of their life..no one…and you will see that you will find the strength to be there with him. You just need to step back and accept the pain, work through your feelings and return to your dad as his cheerleader of life. Together you will support each other in love and even if your visits are quiet…with you reading, sitting next to him….he will feel your love.

Bringing your life and your view of the outside world to your father is the gift you can give. Yes, you will be upset after the visit…but you will go through your own long life ahead with a knowing that you gifted your love to your dad…even on the hardest days of his life. You were there.

I honor your gift of love. Blessings, francy

Would you be kind enough to sign up for the blog on the right of your screen. I am giving George more and more of my time…so this way…you will get my blog sent to you when I have a few minutes to share. Please do send this along to a friend that is going through issues that are similar ~ I would be very grateful.

Where to Go When You Need a Hospital for Dad?

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How to choose hospitals that fit the needs of your senior in care. by francy Dickinson

HospitalDear Francy; We just got through with a horrible experience at our local hospital. We live in a bedroom community and my dad had been having trouble with pain in his stomach area. He had trouble going to the bathroom and his back hurt. So, we finally took him to the ER at our larger local hospital. We have two hospitals in the area; one is smaller and other is a big trauma hospital with a big ER. We went to the larger hospital thinking they would have a better ER to treat him. When we arrived the ER was packed and we had to wait and wait.  Then when he was in the ER room…there was no room for him! So he was on a gurney in the outer area while a police officer was patrolling the ER. There had been gang trouble and they were trying to keep two rival gang members separated while they treated them. Poor dad, was confused, in pain and totally unable to process why the police were there. It was a nightmare. Why do they let seniors take back seats to these horrible gang people?

I can understand your distress and I assure you they did not take the gang members over your dad. They do Triage and the gang members were in more high risk condition, than your dad so they went first. The problem was that the hospital itself is a haven for high stress when it is a trauma center. So, lets talk about hospitals and get the idea of how to choose them in your mind. Next time when an emergency comes up…you will be prepared and be able to guide the ambulance driver to the right place for your special care.

Triage Means:
noun(in medical use) the assignment of degrees of urgency to wounds or illnesses to decide the order of treatment of a large number of patients or  casualties. verb to assign degrees of urgency to (wounded or ill patients)

I will assume your dad had prostate or blocked bowel, correct? Those are conditions that older men have and they are very painful. Elders often do not talk about their private bathroom problems with their care givers or family…until the situation gets painful. I understand that and I’m sorry you all had to go through that sad emergency experience. But lets roll back the clock and see how it could have gone differently.

Both elder men and women need to have a verbal check each day. Care giving is part immediate and part prevention. So everyday( I usually do it while I am picking up their breakfast tray) talk to them. “Dad how was breakfast, I see you did not eat very much of your cereal. How is your stomach feeling?” Dad says; “Oh, fine, I was just not very hungry.” You say; “Oh, well lets talk about it. Are you feeling OK..when did you last go to the bathroom?”

Then you go down the list; are you in pain…if so 1-10 how does the pain feel? When did you have your last bowel movement, or – you are going to the bathroom more often..why is that?” It may not be a hit parade topic for a father-daughter subject…but it pays off. You do this day after day and then he will get used to it. The conversation and your voice tone stay quiet and you sound calm…so your senior feels the conversation is normal. Pretty soon, you learn to take note of changes and you can make a quick doctor or nurse practitioner appointment. When you do that, remember to write down the symptoms your senior has been showing or talking about. As you arrive to the appointment, hand the paper over to the office person checking you in and ask them to attach it to the file for the doctor’s review. It will make the appointment go faster and easier for everyone.

As one older, very experienced in-home nurse said to me…”Francy, stay out of the ER as much as you can. It will usually mean more trouble than it is worth for an elder senior.” So, I try hard to catch problems before they get out of hand…but falls and extreme illness do happen and we all have to face them and learn to use the hospital system and keep as informed as we can.

Now, what I found after years of hospital visits is how to choose a hospital in advance to a problem. The smaller hospitals are perfect for ER visits when you have non heart related issues. So, if the senior falls, or has bowel or urinary problems, even stomach pains…that is something a small hospital does best. ERs are always busy…but less stressful in smaller hospitals because the “trauma'” issues are brought to bigger specially designed Trauma Centers…so car accidents, gun violence or heart problems that require loads of equipment and team efforts to solve a problem are their specialty. This huge effort for big care issues is much different then the smaller hospital ERs. Not that smaller hospitals do not carry heart issue equipment, but its nothing like the big Trauma Centers.

Heart issues are always brought to the larger hospital centers that have special heart teams on staff, at all times. So, you know if you have a senior with any heart, stroke or related issues with blood thinning medications…you have a clear path to that large Trauma Hospital. When you get all of this in your mind ahead of time…when the emergency hits…you are prepared.

Share your choices with anyone that will be caring for your senior …so this is all figured out and runs smooth. Every emergency is stressful…so to know the direction to go for help is really a step toward faster care.

Now if your senior is having small elective surgery…you want to once again take on that smaller hospital. But here is where that changes. If your senior is in a questionable situation…or diagnosed with something complicated…you want to find a “teaching or specialty hospital”. Yes, this could mean a drive to a larger city…but the specialty hospitals are simply a godsend when you have a complicated diagnosis from a doctor. When you face a long-term battle like cancer…having a full service cancer center to go to is a super smart way to treat the issue.

So the example would be this. Your senior goes to the smaller local hospital ER and is treated for a blocked prostate. They come back and say that the prostate is showing cancer, what to do?

There are a lot of decisions to be made in case of a complicated diagnosis. Prostate has many different treatment options. My young niece was just diagnosed with leukemia. That was a two-week ride of trying to figure out what kind of leukemia she had, so they could treat it well. If she was in a small town, with a small hospital – I would have asked them to transfer her to a children’s hospital in a larger city. That specialty hospital is trained in children issues, has specialists that deal with leukemia on a daily basis..not every once in a while. She was lucky because she had a children’s hospital close. She is safe and getting a complicated treatment schedule that the “Hospitalists” are well-trained for and she is getting stronger.

Something to know: Hospitality are now the treating physicians in the hospitals. You   will be using a general Hospital, not your own regular doctor  when your senior goes into the hospital. This is what I found for meaning: A Hospitality is a doctor who basically does nothing except take care of in-hospital patients. They do not have private    practices, they strictly do hospital work.

A senior with the prostate blockage and possible cancer would be best at a large hospital with a specialty of cancer or a teaching hospital. That way all the newer treatments are available for the senior and they can give you a full understanding of your choices in treatments. What I have found is that town doctors may be specialists, but in emergencies they stick to what they have done for years. They stay close to treatments and drugs that are comfortable within their experience. I do not want a complicated situation to be handled in an out of date or common way. I want a complicated issue to be handled with a group of specialists that are on the cutting edge and will use different services to make you and the senior informed of the options of care. I also like the idea that a “group” of doctors will be reviewing the situation and debating treatment for your senior patient.

If you are reading this and say…WOW, my dad is older and does not want to have fancy extended care. He wants to pass naturally and easily.

 That is called Palliative Care. Here is what I found on the meaning: With palliative  care, there is a focus on relieving pain and other troubling  symptoms and meeting your emotional, spiritual, and practical needs. In short, this new medical specialty aims  to improve your senior's quality of life -- however you define that for yourself.

What I feel is that the word Palliative Care is an important word for you and your elder/senior in care need to talk about. That is why everyone needs a Living Will/Medical Care Directive. As you make out this form, you will go through the different options of care giving with the senior. You will then know how to make a decision in the middle of a medical emergency. Do they want to be on long-term care? Do they want to have CPR…there are many different questions on the form and the senior will be able to design their own life care. If those decisions mean that they do not want to extend their lives you need to talk to a doctor and get a special paper that says “NO MEDICAL LIFE SAVING SERVICES”. This paper will be signed by the doctor and the senior. So when you call for help and the EMT team arrives they know the rule and the paper is posted and they then do not have to do “any or all to save a life”. This is important to have when your senior is in the last journey of their life. Lots of families do not understand this rule and do not take that extra step. When the EMT or ER people respond to the senior’s needs they can not…just let the senior go…they are legally bound to treat the senior. But if you have the paper that the doctor and senior have signed (its different – in different states) you can show it and the medical team can relax and make the passing comfortable.

Inform yourself on the forms to keep your senior from extreme life saving treatments. Its a form here is what I have found on it: What are “Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment” (MOLST)?
The MOLST form is a standardized document containing valid medical orders about life-sustaining treatment. It stays with the patient and is honored by health professionals across all health care settings.

My mother had the MOLST paper posted…but when she started to bleed from her mouth..I still took her into the hospital and they found she had an ulcer from her medications. They did a small procedure to stop the bleeding and changed her meds. I did not think we should have let her life go, under the situation. It was a small mend and she lived on another two years. You see I knew how to make that decision because we had talked about her care when we did her care directive and I got my name on the paper as her Power of Attorney for Medical issues. I know it sounds complicated…but I assure you…during the care process for a senior these issues will come up. Life is not always “passing away in your sleep”. It can get very complicated. So with my mother…she did not want any fancy testing or complicated or major procedures to extend her life. I knew that and my choices for her care were easier for me because of our talking over her wishes.

To download your state’s health care directive forms FREE click here. 

I have put the hospital phone numbers of my city on my cell phone. I have also thought about when I drive or when I call 911 for help. When my husband George had pneumonia I called a friend to come and help me drive him to the hospital. When he had symptoms of a heart attack I called 911 for immediate help. If you take a few minutes to think over the idea of when to call for help or when to do take action on your own…you will find that you are prepared in your mind…when and if an emergency pops up.

I also have just done a review of how to make sure that you are prepared for the ER hospital trip and possible stay. Here is a link to that blog so you can pack and have your Emergency Kit all ready to go.

George on a rare out and about with me ;)

George on a rare out and about with me 😉

I want to take time to thank you for the care giving you are doing for your senior. I know what a struggle it is to be a care giver and I appreciate all you are doing. Would you do me a favor and click on the “sign up” button on the right side of your screen. I am so busy with care giving for my Georgie (with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s) that my blogs are random…this way you will get an email with my new blog info. Blessings, francy

PS Thank you to all of you that are constantly supporting me during my care giving for George. He is getting much weaker with his Parkinson’s issues. So the care giving is more complicated and extended. But we did get out for dinner on Good Friday…to celebrate Easter. We met George’s son and his wife at a local restaurant and had a nice dinner. I picked a place that I could park and walk in on one level. George just wheeled up to the table and I did the running around the buffet to fill his plate. He had such a good time, but it took about three days for him to recover from the extended activity from the out and about. I think of our journey as “creative problem solving’ on a daily basis. I want George’s life to be as joy filled as possible. So, we make most quiet days into little celebrations of current events. He is happy and the care giving needed, is still within my range. Thanks again, francy

Seniors Can Have Their Steak and Eat It, TOO!

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How to keep seniors eating the food they enjoy even if they have eating, swallowing, chewing or strength issues with recipes for shut-ins.  by francy Dickinson

My Georgie at the Cafe

My Georgie at the Cafe

Dear Francy; My George had cabin fever and kept asking to go out with me. That is not possible when I am running around…so I planned a simple meal at a local cafe for Sunday Brunch. It takes 2 hrs. to prepare George for leaving the house. Then the wheelchair, car, drive and unload the wheelchair and get him safely inside to a table. Then he often does not know how to make a choice with a multi-dish menu. So, I suggested the PrimeRib and did not even give him the menu. He agreed. When it arrived…he began to dig in…and I was shocked to see he was unable to cut his meat. Wow, his abilites with the combo of Alzheimer’s/Parkinson’s are really going away. I cut his meat…and then he was happy and made his way through the meal with horseradish, au jus and stuffed baked potato…YUMM. But a little bit of me was sad that he had made such a big change in his eating abilities.  

HOW TO KEEP OUR SENIORS EATING WELL…
WHEN THEY HAVE TEETH, SWALLOWING OR STRENGTH ISSUES

When mother was living with us (from 95 yrs -100 yrs old) she came with really bad teeth. I don’t know why she had let her teeth go so badly. But they were just a mess…so we had them pulled and got her dentures. During the process of healing and before the dentures…she would tell me how she was so looking forward to having a “real steak or pork chops”. I understood…she was raised and then later cooked through the meat and potato time of home cooking…so she longed for her old flavors. The day that she got her dentures…I had a pork chop with Rice a Roni and asparagus for her dinner and she was a very happy camper. Life changes are hard for all of us…going up a size in your clothes or going down in your abilities to eat food you have always enjoyed.

I understand that many folks are eating more chicken, turkey and fish along with a vegetarian diet…but most seniors still enjoy their beef. So here are a few tips to help you through the process of feeding your senior beef. Even if you are not eating it along with them…make sure that they get a good beef dinner every other week. That will keep them happy and give them the protein they need.

If you are lucky and can afford fancy cuts of meat…I bless you. I am not. I have to shop for beef and find it within my budget. I do have a couple of tips. One is to buy lesser cuts and then prepare them so they have tenderness and flavor. I also look for un-advertised “manager or in-store” specials. Those specials will have a sign on them for a fast sell..the meat is getting to the end of it’s “sell by” date and so even good cuts can be cut in price. Sometimes it will be less then half the original price. I find these cuts usually are on the shelf in the morning hours before noon…and so I try to hit the stores early so I can take advantage of being first in line. Then there are steaks that are large and the cuts may even be thin…but if it is a good price…I buy them. Usually a good price means a good family size package, but I never worry about that…I am a freezer girl.

Deny Tenderizer

Deny Tenderizer

I just bought a kitchen tool that is simply the bee’s knees of tenderizing. It has many steel needles that you use to prick the steak and it cuts through the meat and leaves it tender. Then you sprinkle your favorite steak spice mix over the top and it sinks down into the meat. You let the meat sit in the fridge for a couple of hours and then put it out to come to room temperature and it will grill up so easy. It makes the meat easy to cut, easy to chew and easy to cook in an even pattern. I often cook more than we will eat…then I slice the left overs to put on top of a salad the next day…YUMM

Mother was the Queen of Budgets and she had a trick with less than stellar meat. She would marinate it for 3 to 5 days in a freezer ziplock bag. The meat would come out so tender and tasty you would never know it was not a top/prime cut. So here is the recipe…I know you will enjoy it. Please give it a try.

TOOT’S STEAK 3 – 5 Day MARINADE RECIPE

Heavy ZipLock type bag for 3-5 day Marinade

Heavy ZipLock type bag for 3-5 day Marinade

1/3 cup olive oil poured right into the gallon size Ziplock bag.
1/8 cup soy sauce (low sodium is what I use)   *  1/8 cup wine (left over red or white…or wine vinegar–or rice wine vinegar)
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley  *  1 Tbsp minced garlic (I buy a jar of it pre-minced in the veggie department to have handy)  *  1 Tbsp dry minced onion  * cracked pepper -Do not add salt, use that when the marinade is finished and you are ready to cook the meat.
Mix it all in the bag and place the meat in and take out the air and zip close the bag carefully so your meat tray does not get wet. I always mark the day that I want to use it..usually on the third day…so I don’t get busy and forget the process. Then I put it in the bottom of the fridge in the meat drawer and every day, I turn it over to really keep all the meat covered with the sauce. (Yes, I do use the Deny tenderizer blades but that is a new step, mother never had one…and the marinade always turned out fabulous!)

Now if the senior has trouble cutting their food. You can put the meat in the freezer for about 15 minutes before you put it in the marinade. Then take it out and easily cut the meat into strips…marinate it like that. When you are ready to prepare the meat you can then cut it further or it will be soft enough for the senior to cut on their own.

RECIPE for preparing the meat once it is marinaded.

Fast Stir Fry Recipe

Stir Fry the meat strips (or cut into smaller bite size)  with a great mix of veggies from your own veggie drawer or buy a frozen Stir Fry Veggie Mix…they even have a fresh Stir Fry Mix all made up for you in the fresh veggie isle. You will use a bit of sesame seeds in olive oil and heat it..then quickly fry the meat strips on both sides keeping the mixture moving in the pan and then add in the veggies. Toss the veggies around so they mingle with the meat. When the veggies are getting a little soft…you use a couple of Tbsp of the marinade as the juice for the stir fry and cover the pan…lower the heat for a couple of minutes and you will have a great dinner in under 8 minutes. Serve over rice.

Old Fashioned Meat and Potatoes Fry Recipe

Once again you can use strips or smaller bite size cuts of the 3-5 day marinade meat. First heat up the pan with veg/corn oil and get it hot. Slice a medium sweet onion and separate the rings and put into the hot oil…keep on top of this…you want your onion to slowly caramelize and it will smell so good while you stir it around the pan. Then when the onion has taken on that wonderful caramel color add in your meat and stir it all till the meat is browned. Do not over cook it…because the marinade meat cooks fast. Then add in sliced fresh mushrooms and cook till they are tender. You will want to add a small pat of butter and 1 tsp of the minced garlic while you are stirring the mushrooms.

Swanson's Beef Flavor Boost Packets

Swanson’s Beef Flavor Boost Packets

In another small pan or in the microwave…make up a pre-packaged brown gravy mix…or mushroom gravy mix. I like to use my favorite Swanson’s Beef Boost Seasoning Packets with a little water in a pan and stir in Wonder Flour and it will thicken up in no time. YUMM…love a quick nice gravy.
Now pour the gravy into the meat and mushroom pan and stir it around and serve over noodles, mashed potatoes, or rice. Old fashioned meal, with a quick and easy twist. Hello…tell me when you make this, I really do want to be there for dinner 😉

Blessings on all you do for your senior. Because of you, your senior has the love and care that will keep them safe and comforted on their journey. Please click on the “sign-up” button so you get my updated blogs. Because Georgie is getting more advanced in his need for care…I have less time to spend on blogs. But I am always here for you if you have issues or questions on care giving….Thank you for sharing the site with your friends and family…I really appreciate it. francy

Walk, don’t Fall! How to Buy Medical Equipment

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How to buy medical equipment for seniors at home by francy Dickinson

Say NO to using surfaces as Table Top walking...

Say NO to using surfaces as Table Top walking…

Dear Francy: Mother will not use her cane…she falls…I know because she has bruises – but her pride is over the moon and she will not use them. She is also having night problems with her bladder…I have to change the bed each time I visit…but no mention of it from her. How can I get over this pride issue and keep her safe and clean and feeling good about herself?

TALK ! There comes a time when seniors have to sit down and listen to their children. It is a hard thing for both fathers and mothers to do- but the transition from being their ‘little girl’ to their care giver simply has to happen. I get it. I have talked about medical equipment and how to acquire it and when to use it before…but just when I think everyone knows…I get four emails in a row about problems with seniors and a need for help. So, I am going to review the different things you need to use as a senior progresses in their life’s journey.

Use a gel cushion in the car and on your favorite TV chair…save that bottom and your back…it feels great!

Start with a gel cushion: When you age, your bottom and your feet start to change and you need to use a little gel cushioning. I am in my early sixties and I have both gel in soles in my shoes and a get cushion on my bottom when I rest…I am a happy girl…get one and enjoy pain free life again!

Age and how a senior feels and their personal challenges are always different. That is why its good to know what is out there for you to help anyone that has ups and downs in their health. Heart problems can come and go and so can arthritis–so if you have some of these helpful tools on hand. You can use them when needed.

Toilet Support Rails r easy to install

Toilet Support Rails are easy to install

This unit simply screws on to any toilet under the seat..then you screw the seat on top of it…it gives you adjustable handles. This has helped George so much…but guess what? After my car accident I had great pain in my foot..and this helped me too! I will not be taking it off when George leaves the house…it is now something I count on myself 😉

To carry this idea out…we need to talk about a commode. These are like portable toilets. When a man is up 2-3-4-5 times a night with prostate issues…or when Parkinson’s has you extremely unsteady…a portable toilet, called a commode, is the ticket to ease of use and relaxed worries of accidents and falls. This commode has a bucket you fill with a bit of water and I hit it with a small amount of Pinesol type product. Then you keep it by the bed…so it is just a few feet away. I put a plastic sheet (black bag) down under it and have toilet paper ready. It is used at night..then during the day you take out the bucket and dump it in the toilet and put the unit over the toilet in the bathroom so the senior can use it with it’s handles for sturdy up and downs. REMEMBER:You always have to ask your doctor for the different products to help you. The doctor will write a prescription for the item and the medical rental house will get your product ready and it will then be able to be all or partially covered by Medicare/Supplement. If you are lucky, like we are, and have Veteran’s…they will give you a review and provide the equipment. If you do not have coverage and need medical products…then it’s time to check out local charities and ask them for help. They often are giving things after someone passes. They clean it up and get it ready for you to use without a big investment. Be creative…do not be embarrassed to ask for help from friends and local charities…they are working hard to provide things for your use…use them.

–> NOTE:Women need to use pad or pants that are designed for urinary problems. Not pads for menstruation. This is very important because the wrong pad for the wrong situation can lead to nasty UrinaryTrackInfections. UTI’s are one the main health risks of both men and women when they begin to lose their strength. UTI’s can take a senior down and change their future living alone abilities… in no time. We can not stress enough to “talk” to your senior about their bathroom issues. Then talk to the doctor. Stool problems can lead to real problems; and the use of stool softeners and/or Imodium products to harden stools can reduce those terrible battles in the bathroom.Medications has nasty side effects for all of us…but especially seniors find them embarrassing and often to do not mention the problems.  Men have to relax and let a pad or “Depend”  under short type product reduce their need to hurry to the bathroom everywhere they go. Doctors can and will give you a prescription for urinary pills that will reduce the ‘urge’ feeling that requires so many bathroom visits. This ‘hurry up’ is the cause of many seniors falling in the middle of the night. A good mattress cover is required. Most seniors need to update their bedding after years of use anyway. So, get a new mattress cover that will protect the mattress and give a little cushion to the older bed. Add two new sets of easy to wash sheets and pillow cases so they can be easily washed and changed. Most seniors like the feel of flannel sheets almost all year round…so keep that in mind when you are buying the new bedding. Update the pillows so the senior has two new pillows for head. Use the older pillows and put one for between their legs to cushion the legs and one to tuck under their upper arm to put them into a womb-curling posture as they sleep. This wrapping them in comfort will allow them to sleep soundly. Adding a night-pad or Depends type of pant…will let them know they are OK, if they have an accident. Then adding in the commode or toilet handles will be a winning ticket for seniors with night time worries and accidents.

—-> Tip//how a lady wipes her bottom after a bowel movement — is going to stop a lot of UTI infections. I had mother re-learn this process…she also used a femine wipe..or child’s diaper cleaning wipe and put it into the special (with swinging lid) trash bin…not down the toilet. These products will clog your sewer system! So teach them to have a trash bin close to the toilet to use for the wipes and a place to put their Depends type products. Then you line the trash bin with a light plastic liner and empty it twice a week to keep the smell out of the bathroom. I use a disinfectant spray inside the trash bin and then re-line it with another tall plastic bin bag. (I get mine at the dollar store) This makes this whole process easy for the senior and the care giver to use and keep really clean. I also have a container of cleaner-wipes (w bleach) under the sink and I use them to wipe off the toilet area and the sink and other handles and light switches- each time I clean the bathroom. This keeps down the germs and the odor. Seniors often lose their sense of smell so you have to help them keeping clean.

I have never been so proud that I could not use a cane with my back. I have had a bad back long before I became a senior. The pain was too much to worry about pride. Even as a younger woman, I had a cane hanging in the closet. It helped me through the three days of pain until the back would relax and let me go back to my regular walking.

Cane and Handle helps George w balance

Cane and Handle helps George w balance.

Just as you prep your house for little children or dogs…its time to do it for seniors that will be aging into health challenges. The senior may only need a few of these items as they move downhill in their health. But actually, at the first signs of stability problems, its time to make changes. Stair lifts are such a lovely thing for those that can afford them. They allow the senior to stay in their two story home, so much longer. And electric chairs are great too. But they are for seniors that have all their thought processes working. Since my George suffers with his Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s he is unable to remember how to use the electric chair or cart.

This new small wheelchair is proving to be a hit with us

This new small wheelchair is proving to be a hit with us

George started using his walker quite a while ago. But it only worked as a walker. It did have a seat for him to use when he got tired…but now he has days that he is too weak to walk at all. So, what to do? We asked for a Physical Therapy appointment and the PT gave us a very small, light weight, wheel chair with small wheels. It now is used as a walker for George when he is feeling strong. The chair is light and easy for me to fold and put into my smaller car. (not everyone uses an SUV) and it works well when George walks. I am going to look around for a larger bag that can hang off the back of the chair so he can grab a few things to take from room to room. I also have to figure out how he can have his cane on the back of it too…so maybe a velcro connection there??

Walking w his legs instead of me pushing is Great!

Walking w his legs instead of me pushing is Great!

The new wheelchair also allows him to sit and walk with his own legs. The older walker was not designed for this move. Now, George is able to move around on his own with his own leg power, without me pushing him all the time. NICE – he is able to walk it out to the front porch where we have a container garden and he helps me water the tomatoes and catches some sun rays each morning.

Now what do you do when you wake up and your spouse is not able to even get out of bed to begin their day? You learn how to use a ‘gait belt’ – the Physical Therapist will show you how to use this. Its an easy tool…you put it around the mid section of the senior and then you can help guide him up and walk with him supporting his legs from the middle of his body.

Example of Bed Rail

Example of Bed Rail

Or you can add a support bar for the side of your bed and the senior can use it to get up on their own. It will depend on if the senior has strong arms and is able to use them.

That is why I keep George exercising three times a week. I have a routine I put him through to keep those legs strong enough for him to make transitions and get up and down from chairs and bed. As he goes up and down in his abilities…we stay with exercise. I use the elastic exercise bands to give him some pressure to stretch and keep his arms strong. Look for them at the sports department or ask the PT the next time you go.

Thank you for all you are doing for your senior…you have no idea how kind and dear it is for you to give your time and love to another and let them age with grace. I have been giving George more and more of my time each day as his Parkinson’s is taking over…poor guy is losing his abilities so fast. So, what I try to do is take each day as a new day. If a day is bad…we work through it. But the next day we start a new…so if his strength is better he does more. If you start to put the senior into a pattern of you doing more and more for them and never checking if they can do some of those things on their own…its just a downhill slide for both of you.

Enjoy the fall…no more hot hot days…things will cool down. George has already asked for Pumpkin pie or pumpkin cream in his coffee…so he gets what time of year it is. I also make sure I change the decor and the calendar in the house. Seniors have no daily change of pace…so pointing out the seasonal changes makes their days into days…not endless time with no change. Quality of care, depends on you as a care giver…so make fall a good time for you…and it will translate onto the senior you are caring for.

Blessings…francy
Oh, would you please sign up for my blog listing. With the care giving getting more and more I try to do the blog, but often miss my weekly update. When you sign up for the blog it will notify you of the new post and you can keep on top of the info. Also…please, please share this blog. You have no idea how lonely care giving can be…and if I can help a few people along my own path of caregiving it helps me feel my own life has meaning…Thank you!

Alzheimer’s Spouse/Care Giver Depression…how can you change it?

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How to cope with the change of relationships in the midst of dementia/Alzheimer’s and keep the spouse / care giver going.  I also added a recipe for Zucchini Turkey Soup that will help you take those steps on your own.  by francy Dickinson

concert in the parkDear Francy: I am doing my own thoughts today. I had a change of routine…that I knew was coming but it upset me all the same. How are you coping with losing your spouse, bit by bit…even though they are still in front of you? The old relationship is fading away and as the care giver…I have to learn to adjust, not go into a depression. I hope this helps you look at change…and not be afraid of the next chapter in your life. Don’t hold on and go down with the ship…raise up and try to embrace the change and make it healthy for both of you. 

I actually went out last night. We have a free concert in the park series that we have attended for many years. There are two jazz artists that are really good and so I try to at least hit those nights. The featured artist this year was Michael Powers. Last year George got so he could not sit long and had to go to the bathroom. But the toilets are located a block away from the concert. We could hardly get there in time and he then could not walk all the way back!

So, I knew that it would be our last time to the concert together. We have been going to these concerts for 20 years…its a summertime tradition that represented joy and togetherness and happy times…how could it end? I have hovered over it on and off all through this last year. Each time I thought about it, it seemed to represent the loss I was feeling almost on a daily basis. No more sharing things together. George here in the house, but a million miles away from our old life of best friends sharing everything together. The transition is so hard to make. I want to hold on so badly to the old…but everyday a new assault of change would arrive at my door. 

pioneer parkThat one event of a weekly outing at the concert in the summer months…it  had bothered so much. The concert is in a fabulous park on a bluff overlooking the Puget Sound…looking out to the water, the islands, the Olympic mountains and Narrows Bridge. There’s a very long train that rumbles through each night too…and the musicians just make fun of the noise. The bandstand is built like an old fashioned bandstand and as you look at it- it almost disappears and you only see the view behind it. Oh boy,  you feel like you are caught up in a time warp. You just get so into the moment, the music, the view.  

As the sun sets the view just gets better…the boats start to pull up close to hear the music and the night is always so magical. The little town of Steilacoom has a farmers/art market on the nights of the concert.  You go early to set up your chairs on the deep green lawn. Grabbing a place in front of the bandstand but back far enough that the sound is soothing, not too loud. Then you walk through the market –munching on fruits, baked goodies and buying flowers from backyard gardens and soap made from bee farmers or goat farmers. You nod at familiar faces and remark at all the wonderful dogs that are all dressed for a nite out, too.  You walk, talk and eat…like a mini fair. OH, it is so enchanting. George and I always loved it…plus, he always got his frozen, chocolate dipped banana 😉
 
I gave up the thought of taking him this year. But Cheryl circled one date with our favorite jazz guy (Michel Powers). I thought about it alot. As the time came closer I finally asked a neighbor and long time friend of he would ‘sit’ with George. He was all in…and so I invited his wife to come with Cheryl and I… it was a date.
The day was hot, and I spent it making soup for dinner for the guys. I just could not think of anything exciting to make for them…so I tried a soup idea I had read about a couple of years ago. I am knee deep in zucchini from my little container garden. Thus a Zucchini Turkey soup. It was totally a wonderful soup and the guys loved it. I had a frozen pie that I baked …the dinner was ready so I could escape. 
 
I thought about all the work I had to do to get out the door for three hours…but it was worth it. George enjoyed the guy talk and I enjoyed the market, concert and girls night out. Sometimes you just have to give up on the old…and know that the new can be enjoyable too. 
No there was no George to hold my hand during the concert. Nor was he there to make me dance with him when they played a tune he liked. But being surrounded by my friends at the concert, I was able to take a step out alone. My future is going to have a lot of steps out alone…so I have to remind myself not to be afraid of life. To live it as an expression of what I enjoy…not what “we enjoyed” — this is the hard part of Alzheimer’s. Its the day after day of losing bits and pieces of someone you love so dearly. I know, I live it. But I have a long life to live…and this has to be my journey next to George…not my end.
I send all of you that are caring for loved ones that are on their own journey…a blessing…francy
 
Here is the soup…honestly..it was delightful. I had a bowl when I got home. 
 
SUMMER ZUCCHINI n TURKEY SOUP 
 
Chop your medium Zucchini in bite size pieces and fry them in olive oil. You want them cooked and light brown and it will take about five minutes. Then drain them on a paper towel and hold them to add at the end of the soup.
Get your rice cooker going with a good brown or wild rice–you need about 2 cups when it is cooked — you can add a cube of chicken broth to the rice water and then let it cook through – Hold this, it will be added at the end of the soup. 
Now here is the soup itself, that I used a French pot to cook it on top of the stove so it did not stick. 
 
Use two cups of turkey or chicken leftovers cut in bite sizes. I used smoked turkey leftovers I had frozen for future sandwich meat. This is a perfect way to use up your left over roasted chicken meat (from the store). Chop into bit sizes and hold to add to the soup. 
 
1TBSP olive oil
1 medium onion chopped
1 green pepper chopped
4 celery stalks (w greens) chopped small
4 cups of the vegetable broth (you can use chicken too)
1 can of cream of celery (or chicken)
4 drops of pepper sauce
1/2 tsp of sage…thyme and rosemary
1/2 tsp House Seasoning (with salt, pepper and garlic powder mixed)
 
OK, cook the onion till it’s starting to turn color then add in the green pepper and celery — once they have gotten soft then add in the herbs, spices and pour in the broth n can of creamed soup + the 4 drops of pepper sauce. Bring it to boil, then add in the meat, rice and zucchini — reduce the heat down and let it cook through, the rice will absorb a lot of the stock. Just before you serve you can sprinkle it with 1/4 cup of chopped green onions and add a dollop of sour cream on top and then serve with roll. 
 
Hope you enjoy it…francy