by francy Dickinson
Dear Francy; My Aunt is like my mom…a very sweet lady that raised me and now she is in a care facility. They have a weekend or afternoon visiting program, so she can leave and return to the home. I would like to bring her home to my place occasionally should I mention it or keep on visiting her?
I just want to take a moment and go over what you have already told me, you are caring for your Aunt. Not a mother or father, not a grandparent but an Auntie…how kind of you to give her more then just love, but your time.
Now, the answer is…why not. What I would do is take come time to sit down and run by a few rules of the road for yourself. Just write a few things down; would I need special food or care items? Could she move around my place easily or need someone or/thing to help her walk or transfer? Do I have children that would upset her? Do I have a place that she can sleep and be quiet for a nap? Is the bathroom equipped to care for her needs? Do I have a plan of what to do if she becomes ill while on a visit? Will my pets be a problem for her? Is my place all one level and warm and/or cool enough for her? Would I have a hard time taking her back to the care center?
Now that you have thought about those ideas and talked them over with friends and family…you can make a clear decision. That is all it takes a day trip to your home for a nice afternoon, dinner and movie and back to the care center is a great start. A pick up after dinner one evening and back to your place for a stay over, breakfast and then lunch and she goes home for afternoon rest and dinner at her care center. Then the weekend get away that can be enjoyed by the whole family would be the next step. Baby steps is what we all need on all levels of our lives.
No it will not bother you to take her “back”. Remember her care center gives her total care- 24/7. You could not do that unless you want to quit work, want to put your children second to her care, give up your privacy and use all of your nursing and care giving knowledge. See what I mean? We all do things on the best level we can. You going and keeping your Aunt in your circle of family by visiting often and even thinking about bringing her home every couple of months is really what every senior who is in a care facility wants. To be loved and you are just the angel that she needs.
Always be honest with yourself about the needs of you and your family and then work in the needs of your Aunt. That alone will be kind. Taking her small gifts of reading materials, special treats and just time with you is enough to send anyone living in a room all day…over the moon! The next best thing to do is go over and sit and do your work in her room. The laptop will work in the care center as it does other places. You sit and get work done, she will watch TV and know you are there for her.
Life does not have to be fancy or complicated. The very best times we all have to remember are usually quiet, intimate times of two people reading their books in the same room, or watching a movie together, or working around the house and checking on each other, or watching your children do homework while you do dishes. Simple stuff, makes life worthwhile…just keep working on the simple and the baby steps and you will be surprised how happy your Auntie stays.
Please join me on my website at www.seniorcarewithspirit.comand get more tips, e-books and other help through your care giving time. Thank you for sharing and blessings, francy